Before I Knew
by Kicon
Summary: Various moments of Dean and Seamus through their years at Hogwarts. Some will be long, some will be short. Some will be happy, some will be sad. Canon compliant. Eventual Deamus
1. Train

_Before I Knew_

* * *

Always  
by Lang Leav

You were you,  
and I was I;  
we were two  
before our time

I was yours  
before I knew,  
and you have always  
been mine too.

* * *

**1****. Train**

_I'm a wizard. I have a wand. I'm going to a magic school where I'm going to learn how to do magic_, Dean thought to himself. It had become a sort of mantra for him ever since his letter had arrived in July, shocking him and his parents.

He sat in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express with a nervous-looking girl in blonde pigtails and a calm-looking blonde haired boy sitting on the bench across from him. They were both first years as well, and from what he could tell from their conversations, they both came from magical families. Dean didn't participate in the talking, partly because he didn't know anything about the magical world and he also didn't much like talking.

Now the conversation had died out between the two, and they all just sat there in an awkward silence. Dean's hand itched and he had the urge to draw something, but resisted. At his old school he'd been bullied for his artistic skills, the boys calling him a poofer and a girl, and now he didn't draw in front of other people anymore.

Suddenly the compartment door burst open and a short, excited-looking boy with sandy hair stood in front of them.

"Mind if I join ye?" he asked.

_Irish_, Dean thought, recognizing the boy's accent.

"Got stuck in a compartment with a bunch o' Slytherin types, ye see," the boy said, striding into the compartment, closing the door behind him, and taking the empty seat next to Dean. "But you three seem like a fine lot!"

He smiled at them and Dean took the opportunity to study him. The Irish boy seemed to quiver, as if there was too much excitement in him for his body to contain, probably from nerves like the rest of them. But what Dean found really interesting was the fact that, because of the quivering, the boy's edges seemed almost blurry, and Dean felt the urge to try to capture that in a drawing.

"Me name's Seamus Finnigan, by the way," he said.

"Ernie Macmillan," the blonde boy introduced, reaching over to shake Seamus' hand. "Pleasure."

"H-Hannah Abbott," the girl squeaked, waving slightly.

Seamus turned to Dean expectantly, a wide grin on his face.

"Dean Thomas," he mumbled.

"Nice to meet you," Seamus said, then leaned in. "So, did ye hear?"

Ernie wrinkled his eyebrows. "Hear what?"

"_Harry Potter's on the train_," Seamus hissed.

Hannah and Ernie both gasped – apparently this Potter bloke was important – and Dean blurted out, "Who?" before he could stop himself.

Three sets of wide eyes settled on him and Dean wished that he hadn't opened his mouth. Here he was, making a fool of himself before he even got to the school.

"Muggle-born, eh?" Seamus asked, then launched into an explanation of who Harry Potter was before Dean could even nod to answer Seamus' assumption.

"I can't believe he's going to be in our year!" Hannah said excitedly.

Ernie nodded. "We could even be in the same house!"

"The house that gets him'll be lucky," Seamus said.

Then the compartment door opened. This time a girl with bushy brown hair was standing before them.

"Have – "

"We haven't seen any toads!" Seamus groaned.

The girl frowned. "No need to be rude. Come on, Neville, let's look somewhere else."

She grabbed the wrist of a round-faced, sniveling boy and closed the compartment door. They heard her stomp away and Seamus received weird looks.

"I seen her twice already," he explained. "The boy lost his stupid toad. I wouldn't be lookin' for it if it was me. Be right glad to be rid of it, I would."

Ernie and Hannah laughed, but Dean felt bad for the boy. Toad or not, he clearly cared for the creature. He tuned out the conversation as Seamus and Ernie began to speculate about Harry Potter again.

"Anything off the cart, dears?"

They looked up to see that a lady with a trolley filled with candy had opened their compartment door. Dean's jaw dropped; he'd never seen candy like that before. Ernie, Hannah, and Seamus stood up eagerly and began pulling the funny coins he'd used to get his school supplies out of their pockets. Dean didn't want to risk looking like an idiot trying to buy wizard candy with wizard money for the first time, so he just tried to look not hungry despite the rumbling in his stomach.

Seamus sat back down and glanced at Dean, then dropped about half of his candy into Dean's lap.

"No, I'm not – "

"'Course ye are," Seamus interrupted with a grin. "Ye'd have to be mad to not want some candy. 'Sides, if ye are Muggle-born, then ye haven't had any of this before. Right?"

Dean nodded. "Right, but – "

"Consider it a 'Welcome to the Wizardin' World' present then."

Dean smiled, touched by the gesture.

"Thanks," he said.

Seamus shrugged. "'Course."

Dean spent the entire rest of the train ride asking Seamus about the sweets and daring him to eat suspicious-looking Bertie Bott's Beans, and figured this short, excitable guy might be nice to have around.

* * *

This will be a long, multi-chapter fic depicting various moment throughout Dean and Seamus' years at Hogwarts. They will be in chronological order. Some moments will be long, some will be short. Some will be happy, some will be sad. Most all of them are written from Dean's perspective. I hope you like them =)

The beginning chapters will be short and mostly feature Dean and Seamus getting to know each other. Once they're in their third year, it becomes more serious and chapters become longer.

~Ki

PS. The poem at the beginning of the story I found on tumblr and I thought it fit the story really well so I just included it in the beginning and also pulled the title of this story from it

PPS. I am an American girl and as such I really don't know much of anything about Irish accents (I know fairly well about British accents), but I tried to portray Seamus' accent the best I could in the dialogue. If it sucks, I apologize


	2. Exciting

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**2. Exciting**

When the train arrived at the Hogwarts station, Dean's nerves had returned. He, Seamus, Hannah, and Ernie all got off the train and lost each other in the crowd of black-robed students.

"Firs' years! Firs' years over here!"

Dean turned and saw an impossibly huge man beckoning and calling to the first years. His jaw dropped, but he walked over anyway and joined the crowd of people who would be his classmates soon. He looked around, but still couldn't find Seamus, Hannah, or Ernie. He did, however, see the boy who'd lost his toad. The boy sniffled a couple times and the bushy-haired girl patted him awkwardly on the shoulder.

The group began descending down a slippery slope.

"Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec, jus' round this bend," the huge man said to them over his shoulder.

Sure enough, as the path opened up they saw a massive castle sitting against a backdrop of the starry night sky, which was reflected in the black water of the lake in front of them. They let out gasps of appreciation and Dean's hand itched for his sketchpad.

"I've seen better," said a nasty, drawling voice to Dean's right.

He turned and saw that the voice belonged to a pale boy with an incredibly pointy chin. The boy saw him looking and curled his lip.

"What are _you_ looking at?" he snarled.

Dean shook his head, not wanting a confrontation, as the man shouted, "No more'n four to a boat!"

_Boat?_ Dean thought in confusion. But as the crowd cleared, he saw that there were several boats resting on the rocky shore. He aimed for one of the empty ones and got in.

"Hello again," said an Irish-accented voice.

Dean turned to see Seamus joining him in the boat, followed by two Indian girls that were so identical they had to be twins.

"Hello," Dean said with a slight smile.

"Excitin', innit?" Seamus asked.

One of the girls nodded eagerly and the other exclaimed, "I can't wait!" Dean simply smiled again.

"Everyone in?" the man asked. Dean saw that he had a boat to himself. "Right then – FORWARD!"

Dean's hand gripped the edge of the boat in a brief moment of panic as the boats all began moving on their own. Seamus patted him a couple times on the arm.

"'S okay, just magic," he said encouragingly.

Dean nodded thankfully and relaxed, then turned his attention to the ever-approaching castle. He almost couldn't believe his eyes; part of him still felt like he was dreaming.

_I'm a wizard. I have a wand. I'm going to a magic school where I'm going to learn how to do magic_, he told himself yet again. _And I'm going to have the time of my life._


	3. Sorted

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**3. Sorted**

_…You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
__For I'm a Thinking Cap!_

Dean clapped along with everyone else even though he felt strangely numb. He'd just seen a very fierce-looking witch, had his first encounter with ghosts, and heard a hat sing. This was almost too much to handle.

_Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor, or Ravenclaw?_ he asked himself. All of them sounded like good houses to be in, except maybe Slytherin. He didn't really like the sound of "those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends."

The fierce witch in the emerald green robes – McGonagall, he was pretty sure – stepped in front of them again, this time holding a scroll in her hands.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted. Abbott, Hannah!"

Dean saw the girl he'd sat with on the train walk nervously up to the stool. He felt bad for her; he'd hate to be the first person to be sorted. McGonagall put the hat on her and it fell over her eyes. After a moment, it shouted,

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Everyone clapped and Hannah skipped over to the table with the black and yellow banners over it. One of the ghosts he'd seen earlier waved at her. She looked wary, but happy.

The next girl became a Hufflepuff as well, then a boy and a girl went to Ravenclaw. The first Gryffindor was a girl named Lavender with long, dirty blonde hair. A girl with black hair and a square build became the first Slytherin.

Someone shuffled next to him and he looked down to see that Seamus had found him. Seamus glanced up at Dean with a green expression. His quivering seemed to have worsened, although this time it was from anxiety instead of excitement. Dean remembered that his last name started with an F, and so his turn to be sorted must be coming up soon.

"Finch-Fletchley, Justin!"

Seamus squeaked and Dean caught his wrist, squeezing it comfortingly, and Seamus slowly stopped quivering. He smiled briefly at Dean and Dean released him.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Justin went to go join Hannah and the other girl at the black and yellow table.

"Finnigan, Seamus!"

Seamus took a deep breath, and then made his way through the crowd of first years to the stool. McGonagall put the hat on his head and Seamus wrinkled his eyebrows as if he were concentrating. More and more seconds ticked past, and Seamus was still sitting on the stool. The first years began murmuring to each other, wondering why he was taking so long, when finally a minute later –

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Dean clapped appreciatively and Seamus went over to the gold and scarlet table. He sat next to the Lavender girl and shook her hand. The bushy-haired girl from the train ("Granger, Hermione") also became a Gryffindor, as did the boy who lost his toad ("Longbottom, Neville"). Ernie joined Hannah at the Hufflepuff table.

"Malfoy, Draco!"

Dean watched the pale boy from earlier swagger up to the stool. The hat had barely touched his head before it declared him a Slytherin. The crowd of first years was really thinning out now. One of the twins from his boat was sorted into Ravenclaw and the other went to Gryffindor.

"Potter, Harry!"

The entire hall began whispering at once, and Dean recognized the name. He remembered Seamus' story of how Harry Potter had defeated the darkest wizard of all time when he was only a baby, but the black-haired boy sitting below the tattered hat looked like just another nervous first year to him.

Harry looked like he was thinking hard about something, like Seamus did, but he didn't sit on the stool for nearly as long. After a couple moments, the hat shouted,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor table exploded into cheers, the loudest yet. People were reaching to grab Harry's shoulder and shake his hand. Two twin boys with red hair were shouting, "We got Potter! We got Potter!" Seamus looked star struck as Harry sat down across from him.

One the cheering finally died down, McGonagall shouted, "Thomas, Dean!"

Dean's nerves returned instantaneously. He ducked his head and shuffled up to the stool. Most people were too busy still whispering about Harry Potter that they didn't pay much attention to him.

"You've got a good heart."

Dean jumped slightly and realized that the hat was talking to him.

"An open mind and a strong will, and I detect fierce loyalty as well. Let's see…how about – GRYFFINDOR!"

The last word was shouted out into the hall instead of Dean's ear, and Dean hopped down off the stool. He felt strangely giddy, and he was happy to be in a house with Seamus. The funny little Irishman seemed like he could be a good friend. And, of course, there was the famous Harry Potter too.

"We're dormmates!" Seamus said excitedly to him as "Turpin, Lisa" went to Ravenclaw.

The last two people – a redheaded boy and a dark-skinned boy – were sorted into Gryffindor and Slytherin, respectively. The redhead sat next to Harry and Dean looked around at his classmates. They seemed like an enjoyable lot, and Neville appeared to have found his toad and was in much better spirits than he had been on the train.

A man with an impressive beard stood up and welcomed them, and then the feast appeared. Dean had never eaten such good food in his life, and he thought guiltily of his mother for a moment. No matter how much he loved her cooking, nothing compared to this.

"_Nearly_ headless? How can you be _nearly_ headless?" Seamus asked, snapping Dean out of his reverie. He looked up to see that they were talking to the ghost that was floating by their table.

"Like _this_," the ghost said, looking annoyed. He pulled on his ear and his head flopped over to the side. Everyone gasped and Seamus looked green again, shoving his plate away from him. Dean laughed at his reaction and Seamus grinned at him before they tuned back in to what the ghost was saying.

"…The Bloody Baron's becoming almost unbearable – he's the Slytherin ghost."

They turned to look at the green and silver table on the other side of the hall. Sure enough, an awful looking ghost with silver blood down his front sat next to the pale Malfoy boy, who looked unenthused.

"How did he get covered in blood?" asked Seamus around a mouthful of potatoes, having apparently regained his appetite.

"I've never asked," the ghost replied.

Seamus looked disturbed and Dean sniggered again. He got the impression that Seamus often asked questions that he didn't really want the answers to. After a while, everybody started talking about their families.

"I'm half-and-half," Seamus told them proudly. "Me dad's a Muggle. Mum didn't tell him she was a witch till after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him."

They laughed appreciatively and then Neville told them about his Great Uncle Algie. Lavender Brown was what they called pureblood and Parvati's parents were both half-blood.

"What about you?" Lavender asked Dean.

"I'm a…" He turned to Seamus. "What's it called?"

Seamus swallowed. "Muggle-born."

"Right." Dean nodded. "I guess I'm Muggle-born, then. Can't be sure, though, cause my dad left my mum when I was a baby. My mum and step-dad are definitely Muggles, though. We were all shocked when I got my letter."

Hermione had stopped talking to the older boy next to her and informed them that she was Muggle-born too, and Dean felt better that he wasn't the only one. Apparently Harry, though his parents were wizards, was raised by Muggles, so he was practically a Muggle-born too.

After they'd eaten all they could, the Headmaster stood up and told them some rules and they sang the most terrible school song in the history of ever, although it had been fun because Seamus sang it to the tune of an Irish jig. They followed the older boy Hermione'd been talking to their dorm (after running in to the school poltergeist).

Dean, Seamus, Neville, Harry, and Ron all climbed to the very top of the stairs to their dormitory and chose their beds. Clockwise it went Neville, Harry, Ron, Dean, and Seamus. The boys all collapsed onto their beds and fell asleep without another word to each other.


	4. Potions

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**4. Potions**

"Finnigan, switch with Dunbar," Snape commanded coldly. "Perhaps if he can understand his partner, Longbottom might prove to be slightly more competent. But I'm not holding my breath."

Seamus stood up, his lips pursed angrily, and grabbed his books, shuffling over to the empty chair next to Dean where Fay Dunbar had just been sitting.

"He's a git," Seamus whispered, glaring at the back of Snape's head. Then he turned to Dean, his blue eyes sad. "Is me accent that hard to understand?"

Dean shook his head insistently. "No. _I_ can understand it, at least. He shouldn't've said that about you."

"Thanks." Seamus smiled. "Mind you, 'm right glad to be rid of Longbottom, I am. He's a bit of a duffer. Melted me cauldron to bits last time."

Dean chuckled at the memory of their first Potions lesson. Neville had ended up destroying Seamus' cauldron, spilling the potion all over himself and the floor.

"Hey, did ye draw that?"

Dean looked down and saw Seamus pointing to the doodle he'd done on a page of his Potions book. It depicted a demonic Snape emerging from a cauldron with evil flames surging around him.

"Um, no," Dean mumbled, hurriedly closing his book.

Seamus raised an eyebrow. "Well, whoever did, they should know 's really good," he said, his tone implying that he knew Dean really did do the drawing.

Dean ducked his head to hide his smile as Snape began talking again.


	5. Poster

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**5. Poster**

"What's that?" Ron asked, pointing at the poster Dean had just put up.

"It's a poster," Dean replied, confused.

Ron frowned. "But why aren't they moving?"

"It's a Muggle poster, Ron," Harry said. "I told you, pictures don't move in the Muggle world."

Dean smiled gratefully at him. He was glad Harry was around to back him up on Muggle things. Despite having a Muggle dad, Seamus didn't appear to know anything about the Muggle world, and Ron and Neville both grew up in pureblood families.

"Who are they?" Ron asked.

"West Ham football team," Dean declared proudly.

Ron didn't look impressed. "What's football?"

"Only the best sport in existence!" Dean exclaimed. "Two teams of eleven players try to get the ball in the other team's goal."

"Only one ball?" Ron wrinkled his nose in disgust "Do you at least play it in the air?"

Dean gave him a strange look. "No, of course not. You play it on a field."

"Sounds boring," Ron dismissed. "Now, Quidditch on the other hand – _that_ is the best sport in existence!"

"Hey, don't insult – "

"Two teams of seven, four different balls, six goal posts, played on broomsticks," Ron said. "Tell me that doesn't sound exciting."

"It's sounds fine, but – "

"It's better than fine!" Ron said hotly. "And our posters _move!_" He pointed at his poster of the Chudley Cannons. One of the players had another in a headlock. "Everything in the Muggle world sounds boring."

Dean was getting riled up. Ron had no right to insult his sport and his world. The redhead had gotten off his bed and was jabbing at Dean's poster with his wand, trying to get the players to move.

"Move, you gits!" Ron yelled.

"Now you – " Dean started angrily.

Seamus had stepped in before Dean could. His normally cheerful expression was stormy as he grabbed Ron's wrist and pulled him away from the poster.

"Lay off him, Ron," Seamus said firmly. "Ye're bein' a bloody pain."

Ron pulled away from Seamus, miffed at the fact that the shorter boy had stood up to him, but looked guiltily up at Dean.

"Sorry, mate," he mumbled.

"It's fine," Dean replied, then smiled at Seamus. "Thanks."

Seamus grinned, back to his goofy self. "'Course."


	6. Feather

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**6. Feather**

"Hover Charms!" Flitwick announced. "Today we will be making objects fly!"

Dean and Seamus looked excitedly at each other; they'd been looking forward to this for a long time. They tried to be partners, but Flitwick put Seamus with Harry, and Dean with Neville. Ron, unfortunately, had to be with Hermione, who everybody found rather insufferable.

The Hover Charm turned out to be more difficult than Seamus had anticipated.

"Swish and flick," he told himself.

He glanced over to see that Harry wasn't having any luck making his feather fly either. He twisted around in his seat to see that Dean had gotten his feather to twitch a little bit, like it was trying to fly. He turned back to his own feather and glared at it.

"C'mon," he muttered, bending over his feather and prodding it with his wand. "Wingardosa. Wingardlium. Wi – "

_Bam!_

The entire class jumped with fright and turned to see that Seamus' feather had caught fire. There was soot on his face and his eyebrows were singed.

"Mr. Finnigan!" Flitwick exclaimed, shooting a small jet of water over to put out his fire. "Are you alright? Do you need to go to the infirmary?"

"'M fine, Professor," Seamus mumbled in embarrassment.

Dean leaned over to his friend, playfully whispering, "Did you forget to swish and flick, Shay?"

"Shut up," Seamus grumbled, wiping the soot off his face as Dean snickered.


	7. Talented

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**7. Talented**

"Dean! _Dean!_ Hey, Dean – wait up! Me legs aren't that – "

Dean stopped suddenly, turning at the sound of Seamus shouting his name, when Seamus ran smack into him, obviously not expecting the boy to stop so soon. Seamus rebounded off of his taller friend, knocking the books out of Dean's arms, and stumbled back a bit before Dean caught and steadied him. As always whenever Dean touched Seamus, the Irishman stopped quivering and his lines became less blurry.

"Sorry 'bout that," Seamus said with a grin.

"It's okay." Dean let go of him and the quivering began again; he wondered if Seamus was even conscious of it.

Seamus kneeled down to help Dean pick up his things. He began gathering the spilled papers together and then paused as he looked at them.

"Did ye do these?" he asked.

Dean looked up and saw his sketches in Seamus' hands. He'd forgotten that he'd shoved some of them in his Standard Book of Spells a couple days ago. He began to panic, terrified that Seamus would make fun of him for it like his old bullies.

"Seamus, don't – "

"These're brilliant, Dean," Seamus said, flipping through them. "Why haven't you shown anyone before?"

Dean shrugged uncomfortably. "Embarrassed, I guess. People used to make fun of me for it. Drawing isn't exactly manly, I suppose."

"I wish I could draw," Seamus murmured, eyes widening at a sketch of the castle at night. "This is so cool."

"You mean it?" Dean asked, his spirits raising.

Seamus nodded. "Bloody amazin'," he said, handing them back to Dean.

Dean picked up his books and the sketches and they stood up, smiling at each other.

"Oh! You should draw something on the banner we're makin' for Harry's first Quidditch match!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know…" Dean mumbled. Seamus might think his art was cool, but he didn't think others would.

"Everyone'll love it," Seamus insisted. "Ye're talented, Dean, and everyone likes talented people. Look at Harry!"

Dean smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Shay."

"'Course," Seamus replied like usual as they started walking down the corridor.

"Oh, what were you going to say earlier?" Dean asked.

Seamus looked at him with confusion.

"You were trying to get my attention before you ran into me."

"Right!" Seamus exclaimed, then frowned. He shrugged helplessly. "Can't remember. It'll come back to me eventually."

It never came back to him, but that was okay.


	8. Banner

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**8. Banner**

The day of the Quidditch game, everybody was buzzing with excitement. They were all looking forward to the game, except for Harry it seemed. He looked like he was going to be sick, staring at his empty plate. Hermione – whose presence everybody enjoyed now that she was friends with Harry and Ron – was trying to get him to eat something.

"Harry, ye need yer strength. Seekers are always the ones who get clobbered by the other team," Seamus said, trying to be helpful.

Harry's expression turned even greener. "Thanks, Seamus," he mumbled, then left the table, saying he wanted to make sure his broom was okay.

"I don't think that made him feel better, Shay," Dean murmured.

Seamus looked sheepish for a moment, then moved on to eating his sausage.

The banner worked out great. They'd painted Potter for President on the sheets that Ron's rat Scabbers had ruined and Hermione had enchanted it so the paint flashed different colors. Then Dean drew a huge Gryffindor lion below it. He felt it was one of his best drawings, and everybody loved it.

"Who drew that lion?"

"Great job, Dean!"

"That looks great!"

"Wish I could draw like that!"

Dean turned as red as he could with his dark skin tone.

Seamus nudged him. "Told ye," he said.

"Shut up," Dean replied with a smile.


	9. Guarantee

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**9. Guarantee**

"Hey Shay?"

"What's up?" Seamus asked.

They were walking back up to the school after the Quidditch match and everybody was buzzing about Harry's spectacular Snitch catch.

"I was wondering," he started, "why do you always say "'course" when people say "thank you"?"

Seamus laughed a bit. "'S a bit strange. Me dad does it too, so I guess I get it from him. I asked him about it once and he said he thought sayin' ye're welcome felt a bit high and mighty."

"High and mighty?"

"Yeah, like, saying "oh, yes, ye're so very welcome that I graced ye with my help" or somethin'. He doesn't want people to make a big deal out of him helpin' them, so he plays it off by saying "of course." I dunno, I've always like it, so I started sayin' it too. Bit strange, like I said."

Dean shook his head. "No, I like it. It sounds like you're saying it's a guarantee, that of course you'll help someone or do something nice for them."

Seamus grinned. "Exactly."


	10. Homesick

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**10. Homesick**

Dean opened his bleary eyes. It was his first night back in Gryffindor Tower, having just come back from the winter holidays. The dorm was dark and he heard the soft snores of his dormmates filling the air. He wondered what had awoken him and was about to turn over on his side when he heard someone sniffling. He propped himself up on his elbows, peeked through his curtains, and realized that Seamus was awake, sniffling slightly.

"Shay?" he whispered.

"'M fine," Seamus replied. "Go back to sleep."

Dean got out of bed and walked the short distance between his and Seamus' beds. He pushed aside Seamus' curtains and put a hand on Seamus' shoulder. Seamus turned his head so he could look up at Dean. His blue eyes were filled with tears, which he hastily wiped away.

"Go, Dean," he said.

Dean sat next to Seamus on the bed. "What's wrong?"

Seamus shook his head.

"Shay."

He sighed. "Jus' a little homesick is all. 'S stupid. Go back to your bed."

Dean shimmied so he was lying down next to Seamus underneath the blankets and put his arm around the smaller boy's shoulders, turning him so they were facing each other. They were both blushing.

"What – ?"

"Just go back to sleep," Dean said.

Seamus nodded and, after a few moments, snuggled in close to Dean's body.

"Hey Dean?"

"Hm."

"Thanks."

"'Course."

Seamus smiled a bit at Dean saying "'course" like him, and then drifted off to sleep.

And if their dormmates thought it was strange when they woke up the next morning to see Dean and Seamus curled around each other in Seamus' bed, they sure didn't say so.


	11. Best

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**11. Best**

"Be sure to write, ye hear?" Seamus asked clapping his hand on Dean's shoulder.

"For the thousandth time, I will," Dean said with a grin as he and Seamus passed through the barrier back into the Muggle world.

"Dean! Dean, over here!"

He turned at the sound of his name and saw his mother waving at him.

"Hey, come on, I want you to meet my mum," Dean said.

"Oh, no, ye don' have to – "

But Dean had grabbed his wrist and was pulling him along before Seamus could protest anymore.

"Mum, meet my best friend Seamus Finnigan," Dean proclaimed when he reached her.

Mrs. Thomas was a kind-looking woman with Dean's toffee brown eyes. Her brown hair was curly and she smiled warmly at Seamus as she shook his hand.

"Pleasure to put a face to the name, he talked about you constantly during winter holidays," she said, winking at her son. Dean pursed his lips and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Did he now?" Seamus asked with a grin. "Good to know it's mutual, then."

The boys started laughing and Mrs. Thomas smiled at the sight.

"Right, well, better go find me mam," Seamus said. "Nice to meet ye, Mrs. Thomas."

Dean darted forward and quickly hugged Seamus, then let him go. He walked with his mom out to the parking lot, a huge smile on his face.

"Did you have a good year, then?" his mom asked.

"The best," Dean replied. "Can't wait till summer's over."


	12. Interesting

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**12. Interesting**

"Did ye hear?" Seamus asked Dean, perching himself on the arm of the chair Dean was sitting in in the common room.

Dean looked at him strangely.

"Harry and Ron flew a car to the school and crashed it inta the Whompin' Willow!"

"That's the dangerous tree, right?" Dean asked. Seamus nodded. "That's really cool. I bet they're in big trouble, though."

"I heard they're in Snape's office with Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore right now," he replied. "But could ye imagine – _flyin' a car to school_."

Dean laughed and shook his head. "This should be an interesting year."


	13. Charming

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**13. Charming**

"That man," Seamus growled, "has got to be the biggest soddin' idiot in the world."

"_You_ were the one who had to ask if they were dangerous or not," Dean pointed out. "When will you learn not to ask questions you don't want the answers to?"

Seamus glared at him and continued to struggle with trying to clean his bleeding pixie bites. Dean sighed.

"Here," he said, taking the wet cloth from Seamus' hands and gently pressing it to the bite on Seamus' shoulder.

"I'm naturally curious. Me mam says it's charming," Seamus said.

"Charming my arse," Dean replied.

Seamus rolled his eyes. "Ye know ye like it."

"Yeah, maybe."


	14. Mudblood

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**14. Mudblood**

The common room was unusually subdued. Mrs. Norris's petrified body had just been discovered, along with the ominous writing on the wall.

"_Enemies of the Heir beware! You'll be next, Mudbloods!_" Malfoy's words rang in Dean's mind.

"Hey Shay?" he asked.

Seamus looked up from where he was reading the Prophet in an armchair. "What?"

"What's a Mudblood?"

Seamus' eyes darkened. "It's a nasty word, it is. Means dirty blood. It's a bad term for Muggle-borns. Purebloods use it a lot cause they think they're better cause they have only wizard blood, but that's bloody ridiculous. I mean, Neville's a pureblood and he can barely walk without screwin' somethin' up."

Dean nodded slowly. "So…I'm a Mudblood?"

Seamus threw the Prophet down on the bed angrily, his expression angry. "No, Dean, ye're not. Ye're a wizard, just like me and just like everyone else here."

"Sorry, I just…" Dean sighed.

Seamus frowned in concern and went to go sit by his friend on his bed. "What's got you thinkin' 'bout it anyway?"

"What Malfoy said, after Mrs. Norris was found," Dean said. "About Mudbloods being next."

"Malfoy's a git," Seamus said. "Don't pay attention to him."

Seamus squeezed his friend's shoulder comfortingly and then returned to his own bed. Dean tried to take his friend's advice and forget about it, but he still had an awful knot in his stomach.


	15. Heir

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**15. Heir**

"D'ye think it could be him?" Seamus asked, his voice low.

"Shay, I'm trying to study," Dean replied, bent over his Transfiguration textbook.

Seamus sighed. "Take a break."

Dean rolled his eyes and closed his textbook. "Do I think what could be who?"

"Harry. D'ye think he's the Heir of Slytherin?" Seamus asked.

The dark-skinned boy raised an eyebrow. "Shay, he's in _Gryffindor_. Why would he be in Gryffindor if he was the Heir of Slytherin?"

"But ye saw him at the duelin' club – he's a parselmouth!"

"I don't know what that is," Dean reminded him.

"It means he can talk to snakes. Really rare ability," Seamus explained quickly. "But d'ye think it could be him?"

One of the things Dean loved about being friends with Seamus is that he never missed a beat if Dean was confused about something. He explained things easily and never made Dean feel ignorant for not knowing everything about the wizarding world.

"No, definitely not," Dean replied. "He's best friends with Hermione, remember? I don't think the Heir of Slytherin would be best friends with a Muggle-born."

Seamus nodded slowly. "That makes sense, that does. Thanks, Dean."

"'Course."


	16. Scared

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**16. Scared**

_No, no, no,_ Seamus thought as he sprinted through the school. _No, no, no, no, no._

"Cauldron cakes!" he said breathlessly to the Fat Lady.

She swung open and he darted inside. He scanned the common room quickly and then darted up the stairs to his dormitory, but it was empty except for Neville, who looked frightened of Seamus' manic state.

"Whe…Where's Dean?" Seamus panted.

"D-Dunno," Neville stammered. "He said something about wanting to go draw, I think."

Seamus tore out of the dorm and back out of the tower. He ripped down the corridors, keeping his eyes peeled. He took a shortcut through the Transfiguration courtyard and ended up running straight into his friend.

"Whoa!" Dean exclaimed as they both fell to the ground. Seamus grabbed him and hugged him so tightly that Dean almost couldn't breathe. The Irishman didn't seem to care about all the stares they were getting.

"Shay…Shay, what – "

"Hermione's been petrified," Seamus said in a rush. "She's been petrified, and…and I – "

"You're scared I'll be next."

Seamus nodded silently and squeezed his friend even tighter. Dean pulled himself gently away, but kept his hands on Seamus' arms.

"Seamus, I'm not going to be attacked," he said.

"Ye don't know that!" Seamus exclaimed. "Bet Hermione didn' think she would, and now look where she is!"

"Shay – "

"And that's not all," Seamus said. "Hagrid's been sent to Azkaban and Dumbledore's been suspended."

"Not Dumbledore!" Dean exclaimed in shock.

Seamus nodded. "Justin, Colin, the Ravenclaw girl, and Hermione, not to mention Nick and Mrs. Norris, have all been petrified. And now Dumbledore's gone. Dean, I…I'm scared."

"But Seamus – "

"I'm scared for _ye_, Dean!" Seamus exclaimed. "If ye – I just…" He sighed agitatedly and shook his head, then his eyes brightened. "Ye don' actually know if ye dad was a Muggle or not, right?"

"Right," Dean said warily.

"What if we track him down and find out who he is?" Seamus said eagerly. "We could prove ye're not a Muggle-born!"

"No."

Seamus frowned. "Why not?"

"Because I'd have to ask my mum who he is, and she'll kill me if I bring him up."

"But he's ye dad!"

Dean shook his head. "Shay, you don't get it. My _dad_ is my step-father, the man who raised me. The man who walked out on me and my mom is nothing more than the guy who fathered me. Understand?"

Seamus nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, I'm sorry, it's just – "

"I know," Dean interrupted. "Listen, if it makes you feel better, I won't go anywhere by myself. I'll stick with you until this mess gets sorted out."

"Really?" Seamus asked.

Dean nodded.


	17. Drawstrings

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**17. Drawstrings**

"Dean, Seamus, don't go to bed yet!"

The boys groaned, having just been on the verge of sleep. Seamus lifted his head off of Dean's pillow and glared at the round-faced boy in front of them. They'd taken to sharing Dean's bed since Hermione had been attacked, but none of their dormmates thought anything of it.

"What's happening, Neville?" Dean asked.

"Harry defeated the monster in the Chamber of Secrets!" he exclaimed. "Dumbledore's back and the mandrake potion's been given to the victims and Hagrid's coming back from Azkaban not guilty!"

Dean and Seamus sat up, instantly awake.

"Oh, and there's a feast, we can wear our pajamas, and Harry and Ron won four hundred points for Gryffindor – _we won the House Cup again!_"

They let out whoops and hollers of joy and together went down to the Great Hall for the celebration. Harry and Ron were surrounded by a mob of Gryffindors congratulating them for their points. Hermione was standing by them, looking fresh-faced and giddy. Dumbledore sat at the staff table, his eyes twinkling as he watched all of them. McGonagall announced Lockhart wouldn't be back next year and that exams were cancelled.

In other words, it was the best end to the school year ever.

"Told you I wouldn't get attacked," Dean teased Seamus.

"Oh shut up," Seamus mumbled, picking at the drawstrings of his shamrock pajama pants.

Dean grinned. "Thanks for looking after me, Shay."

He smiled back. "'Course."


	18. Scrawl

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**18. Scrawl**

_I'll see you Tuesday!  
- Seamus_

Dean smiled at Seamus' familiar scrawl and then folded the letter back into his pocket and looked around anxiously for his sandy-haired friend. Since he lived in London it was easy for him to get to Diagon Alley, but Seamus had to take the Floo Network. He remembered Harry's account of his encounter with the Floo Network last year and he dearly hoped Seamus hadn't ended up in Knockturn Alley. Godric knew what sort of trouble he'd get into there.

"Dean! Ey, Dean!"

He turned at the sound of the familiar Irish accent and saw Seamus weaving his way through the crowd toward him. Suddenly, he tripped. Dean – thank Merlin for his long legs – managed to move fast enough to catch him before he hit the ground.

Seamus grinned. "Thanks."

"'Course," Dean replied cheekily, setting Seamus back on his feet.

He laughed in appreciation. "I've missed ye, mate."

"I know." Dean shrugged. "I've missed you too."


	19. Hippogriffs

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**19. Hippogriffs**

"So, did ye hear?" Seamus asked Dean as they walked down to their first Care of Magical Creatures lesson.

Dean rolled his eyes. "I swear, Shay, I don't ever need to hear anything from anyone else ever again. You're the biggest gossip I know."

Seamus shrugged. "Nothin' wrong with bein' informed. Anyway, did ye hear about Sirius Black?"

"He's the prisoner that escaped from Azkaban, the reason the Dementors are here, right?" Dean asked, shuddering at the memory of those horrible creatures.

"Right, but do you know _who_ he is?"

Dean shook his head and Seamus explained everything about Sirius Black and the Potters to him.

"Poor Harry," Dean said. "Do you think he knows?"

"Hard to say," Seamus answered. "I doubt his Muggles know, so I don't think he does."

They dropped the conversation as they approached Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were also heading to Hagrid's lesson.

"Hippogriffs," Seamus breathed when the creatures came into sight after Hagrid led the students over. "Brilliant."

Dean thought they were brilliant too. The hippogriffs were quite exquisite creatures, and he thought he might like to try drawing them later. Seamus' excitement over the hippogriffs didn't appear to transfer over to actually dealing with them.

"You just have to bow to it, Shay," Dean told him encouragingly.

They were standing in front of the bronze-colored hippogriff with Fay Dunbar and Ginger Dirly, the other two Gryffindor girls in their year who tended to keep to themselves. Seamus was the only one who hadn't patted the hippogriff yet.

"Easy for ye to say," Seamus said grumpily.

"What's the matter? As long as you don't insult it you'll be fine," Dean said.

Seamus swallowed. "They're just so…_big_."

"Thought that by now you'd be used to being around things that are bigger than you, Shay," Dean teased. "You sure you're not part leprechaun?"

"Piss off," Seamus snapped, determinedly stepping up to the hippogriff. It eyed him derisively and snorted. Seamus yelped and jumped back, grabbing hold of Dean's arm out of fear. Dean chuckled, as did Fay and Ginger, and Seamus scowled.

"Shut – "

"This is very easy."

They turned at the sound of Malfoy's loud voice and saw him petting the gray hippogriff that Harry had pet at the beginning of class, Buckbeak.

"Merlin, what's he doing now?" Dean said half to himself, his face twisted in worry. He had a bad feeling in his gut.

"…not dangerous at all, are you? Are you, you great ugly brute?"

Dean was right about his bad feeling. Buckbeak suddenly attacked and Malfoy screamed bloody murder. The Slytherins and Gryffindors argued about Hagrid all the way back up to the castle.

"They should fire him straight away!" Pansy Parkinson declared tearfully.

Rage boiled up in Dean and he snapped, "It was Malfoy's fault!" before he could remind himself that he didn't like confrontations.

Crabbe and Goyle gritted their teeth and balled their hands into fists, flexing their muscles threateningly. Throwing his inhibitions about confrontations aside, Dean took a challenging step forward. He was a good foot taller than Crabbe, maybe half a foot taller than Goyle, but both boys were far bulkier than he was and it was two against one, so he couldn't be sure of the outcome.

Seamus yanked on his arm. "Dean, c'mon, leave it."

"Shay – "

"_Dean_."

Seamus looked at him with his serious expression, a hard glint in his eyes. Dean stared stubbornly at him for a few moments, then conceded and allowed Seamus to drag him away from Crabbe and Goyle.

"Need your boyfriend to save you from fights, Thomas?" Millicent jeered before she, Crabbe, and Goyle entered the school, cackling as they went.

"Ignore them," Seamus said.

"I know," Dean replied, pulling out of Seamus' grip.

"Dean – "

He swung his fist and punched the wall of the castle that they were walking beside. Seamus watched him sadly but didn't approach him, knowing Dean needed a little space.

"Bloody Slytherins…they just piss me off so much," Dean growled. "They make everyone's lives hell and then get away with it. I'm sick of it."

"I know," Seamus murmured.

"Malfoy and his crew are the worst of them all – always blaming everything on other people," he continued. "And the way they make fun of people for being different or poor or not pureblooded. It's…it's – "

"'S not fair," Seamus finished.

Dean nodded helplessly. "Yeah."

They stood in silence for a few moments. Dean ran a hand over his curly hair.

"I'm sorry, Shay," he said. "Thanks for being here."

The Irishman grinned and instantaneously serious Seamus was gone and goofy Seamus was back. "'Course. What are best friends for? Now let's get ye fixed up. Wouldn't want ye to cripple yer drawin' hand."

"I think I'll draw a hippogriff when we get up to the Tower," Dean mused as they walked into the castle. "Give myself a challenge."

"If ye want a challenge, how about tryin' to capture _me_ in a drawin'?"

"Small things aren't hard to draw, Shay."

"Well if ye want big things to draw, how about a drawin' of me in the nude? Be sure to pay extra special detail to me lower bits, they're quite – "

"I'm not drawing you naked, Shay."

"But – "

"I'm drawing a hippogriff and that's final."

"How about me nude _on_ a hippogriff?"

"That's sick!"

"Come off it, Dean, I know the idea excites ye."

"In your dreams."

"How'd ye know?"

"Remind me why I'm friends with you, again?"

"Ye can't resist me Irish charm."

"Right, that's definitely it…"

* * *

A note about Fay Dunbar and Ginger Dirly: So the Gryffindor girls in Harry's year are Hermione, Lavender, Parvati, and two unidentified Gryffindor girls. Apparently one of them is named "Fay Dunbar" in one of the video games, so I just used that name. Ginger's name I made up

I hope you're enjoying the story!

~Ki


	20. Black

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**20. Black**

"Have ye read the _Prophet_ today?" Seamus asked Dean as they ate breakfast.

"No, why?" he asked.

"Black's been sighted, they think."

Dean almost choked on his pumpkin juice. After Seamus had told him about Sirius Black, he'd done his own research. The man was purely insane, and now he was on the run.

"Where?" he asked.

"Not far from here. Muggles think he's just a regular criminal, and some lady spotted him and called the hotline," Seamus said. "But by the time the Ministry showed, he was gone."

"Reckon he's coming for Harry?" Dean asked.

"Dunno. He's crazy enough to try, that's for sure."

"But the Dementors will stop him if he tries, right? That's what they're here for."

Seamus shrugged. "Got past 'em once before, didn' he?"

Dean pursed his lips uneasily. Seamus sensed his discomfort with the topic of conversation and began talking about what a crazy old bat Trelawney was, but not even Seamus' loud chatter was enough to dispel the thought of Sirius Black breaking in to Hogwarts from his mind.


	21. Boggarts

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**21. Boggarts**

"A severed hand?" Seamus asked Dean amusedly as they left their Defense Against the Dark Arts Lesson. "_That's_ what ye're most afraid of?"

"They're creepy!" Dean defended. "I was trick-or-treating with my sisters one year and some guy was standing in the shadows wearing all black so I couldn't see him. He had this monster hand glove on and grabbed my shoulder. I screamed like a girl. Scarred me for life."

Seamus laughed. "What's trick-or-treating?"

"It's what Muggles do on Halloween," Dean replied. "We go door to door around neighborhoods and collect free candy."

Seamus' eyes widened at the words _free candy_. "I wish wizards did that!"

Dean chuckled. Seamus loved candy too much for it to be healthy. Being on sugar highs also didn't help his quivering.

"So, a banshee?" Dean asked, referring to Seamus' boggart.

Seamus grimaced. "Me cousin Fergus – I hate that git – told me about banshees when I was little. He told me they wandered around lookin' for little Irish boys to eat, which is bollocks o' course, and that by the time ye heard their scream it was too late. Later he got his girlfriend to dress up like a banshee and she snuck up on me and screamed bloody murder. Almost pissed me pants, I did. Her and Fergus had a right good time laughin' about it."

Dean snickered.

"But that's not the worst of it. Couple o' years later we were having our annual family reunion campin' trip and I came across a real banshee. 'Course, I thought they were tryin' to trick me again. Would've died if me mam hadn't come in and blasted it away 'fore it could start screamin'," Seamus finished, looking pale as he relived the memory.

"Ah, Shay, I'm so sorry," Dean said with a frown.

Seamus shrugged and grinned crookedly, his eyes playful again. "Not as bad as bein' grabbed by a seeemin'ly severed hand."

"That's right," Dean replied with a laugh.


	22. Hogsmeade

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**22. Hogsmeade**

"Hogsmeade, Hogsmeade, oh what a treat!" Seamus sang with awful tone as everybody walked down to the wizarding village. "'M gonna go to Honeydukes and get meself some sweets!"

Dean shook his head at his friend's antics. Seamus skipped merrily along beside Dean, whose long strides allowed him to keep up with Seamus.

"Hogsmeade, Hogsmeade, hope ye're not a hoax!" he continued. "'M gonna go to Zonko's and laugh at all their jokes!"

"Shay, quit it or I'll go deaf," Dean said with a laugh.

Seamus grinned. "Ye're just jealous of me song."

"Completely."

Dean couldn't deny that he was excited about going to Hogsmeade too, he just wasn't going to sing about it. They approached the town and passed the Dementors, shuddering violently as they did so, but their spirits were quickly lifted by the sight of the village.

It was quite possibly the most fun Dean'd ever had in the span of just a few hours. They stopped by Honeydukes first and tried the fudge they were giving out for free and then Seamus spent half of his money on candy. They walked by the Shrieking Shack and Dean teased Seamus by suggesting there was a banshee in there. They made a stop in Spintwitches, the sport shop, and bought some things from Zonko's. They got some butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks before they headed back up to the castle, arms laden with sweets and toys.

Once back at the castle they were greeted with the Halloween feast, where they stuffed themselves silly. They giggled the entire way back up to the Tower after the feast, high on sugar and fun.

"Oi, watch it!" an older boy snapped when Dean stepped on his foot.

"Sorry mate," Dean said. "What's the hold up?"

A crowd of Gryffindors had gathered on the landing of the Fat Lady portrait.

"Portrait's blocked or something," the boy said.

Just then Dumbledore arrived and they all shuffled aside to let him through. Dean strained his neck and caught sight of the portrait, which was slashed to bits. The Fat Lady was nowhere to be seen. An icy cold feeling of fear washed over him and he caught Seamus' wrist to give him something to hold on to, otherwise he felt like he'd fall over. All of their mirth from moments ago was gone.

"…she wouldn't let him in, you see," Dean heard Peeves say as he tuned back in to what was going on around him. "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

Everyone was ushered to the Great Hall, where moments later they were joined by the other houses . Dumbledore vanished the tables and summoned sleeping bags. He and the other teachers left to go search the castle for Black and Percy Weasley was left in charge.

Dean and Seamus grabbed a couple sleeping bags and put them close together.

"Dean, are ye scared?" Seamus whispered, rolling on his side so he could face his friend.

"Yeah," he replied with a nod, his eyes wide. "Yeah, I really am, Shay. I really am."

Seamus pulled one of his arms out of his sleeping bag and rested his hand on Dean's arm, his pale skin contrasting against Dean's. He squeezed Dean's arm comfortingly and Dean realized that for the first time he was the one quivering, instead of Seamus.

"Don't worry, the teachers'll find him, and we'll be safe in here tonight," he said. "We've got big bad Percy Weasley protectin' us."

Dean snickered quietly and Seamus grinned. He felt the tightness in his chest release slightly.

"And if they don't, then we'll have Harry save the day like usual."

Dean smiled. "Thanks, Shay."

"'Course. Now get to sleep, I need me beauty rest."

Dean rolled his eyes. "G'night, then."

"Night."


	23. Oatmeal

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**23. Oatmeal**

"Oh no," Seamus moaned running a hand through his hair as he read the letter he'd gotten from his mom. He almost put his elbow in a dish of pudding when Dean caught his arm.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked.

"We're visitin' me mam's family for Christmas this year," Seamus replied. "That means I'll have to endure me cousin Fergus."

Dean frowned sympathetically. Seamus hadn't been having the greatest morning. First he'd forgotten his tie when he got dressed and had to go back to Gryffindor Tower, where he got into a row with Sir Cadogan (the portrait that guarded Gryffindor Tower while the Fat Lady recovered) because the knight had changed the password again. Finally Dean guessed the right password and they were let in. Seamus was so upset when they walked back down to the Great Hall that he tripped and fell down an entire flight of stairs in front of a group of Slytherins, who did nothing but laugh their giddy arses off. And now he found out he'd have to have Christmas with his insufferable cousin.

"I'm sorry, Shay," Dean said, then straightened up. "Hey, why not have Christmas with me and my family?"

Seamus' eyes widened. "Ye're brilliant! I'm writin' her back right now," he said, reaching down to fumble in his bag for his quill, but his elbow hit his spoon, which launched oatmeal into the face of a seventh year girl. She gasped and shrieked and Seamus tried to look inconspicuous.

"On second thought," he mumbled as Dean guffawed, "maybe later."


	24. Christmas

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**24. Christmas**

"Dean, Seamus! Wake up!"

"Too early," Seamus mumbled, pulling the lip of his sleeping bag up over his head.

Dean laughed as he swung his legs off of his bed, leaning over to shake his friend. "But Shay, it's Christmas."

That woke him up.

"What ye waitin' for?" Seamus asked, crawling out of the sleeping bag. "Presents!"

Shaking his head in amusement, Dean followed his friend out of his room and down the hall to the dining room where his parents and sisters were already eating breakfast. At the smell of the food, Seamus let out a moan that would've made his grandmother blush. Mrs. Thomas had cooked pancakes and eggs and toast and bacon.

"Mrs. Thomas," Seamus said, "I'll be rollin' down the corridors at this rate."

She laughed. "Seamus, you flatter me. Now grab a plate, you two, and help yourselves."

Seamus really liked Dean's family. His mom was really nice and easygoing, and her cooking was delicious. Mr. Thomas was quite similar to Dean; they both liked to observe the goings on around him rather than participate. Dean's sisters were certainly interesting. Beth was two years younger than them and she was really smart – probably would've made Ravenclaw if she'd turned out to be a witch, but she wasn't. Renee, eight, was a storyteller: she always had some wild tale to tell them. Five year old Michelle was the baby of the family and she idolized Dean and followed him around everywhere.

"Why d'you talk funny?" Michelle asked Seamus for the eleventh time since he'd arrived at the Thomas house a couple days ago.

"I told ye, Shell, 'm Irish," he replied with a smile.

"Oh! Right!" she said, smiling sheepishly before ducking behind Dean out of embarrassment. Dean and Seamus exchanged grins.

"D'you go to school with Deanie?" Michelle asked, peeking at him from around her brother.

Seamus nodded. "I do."

Beth was the only sister who knew about Dean and Seamus being wizards. She'd just been told at the beginning of the year since her parents decided she was old enough and mature enough to keep the secret. Renee and Michelle still had no idea, though they could sense that they weren't being told something.

"Time for presents?" Mrs. Thomas asked when everybody's plates were empty.

"Yeah!" Renee and Michelle chorused.

They all went into the living room, where presents were stacked around the Christmas tree. Seamus' mom had sent all of his presents over to the Thomas house when it was decided that he'd be staying with them. Present opening went in turns, everybody opening one at a time. It was a really enjoyable affair and the air was relaxed as they sipped on hot chocolate and laughed at the girls' excitement.

"Shay, it's your turn," Dean said, nudging his friend.

Seamus grabbed one of the presents that was for him and saw it was from Dean. He grinned at his friend and then ripped off the wrapping paper.

"Amazing," Seamus breathed, staring at the candy-making kit in his hands. "Dean, ye're gonna regret givin' me this."

"Just try not to blow it up," Dean replied with a laugh.

"Thanks mate," Seamus said sincerely, smiling at his friend.

Dean nodded and smiled back. "'Course."

A few more rounds of present opening passed before Dean got around to opening Seamus' present.

"Should I be worried?" he asked Seamus.

His friend shoved him playfully. "Just open it!"

Dean laughed and pulled off the wrapping paper. He stared, awestruck. A sketch pad and quills sat in his lap, but they weren't just any sketch pad and quills. The sketch pad was enchanted so that whatever was drawn on it would move like in wizard photographs and the quills were special drawing quills with different tips.

"Thanks, Shay, really," Dean said, a wide grin covering his face.

"'Course!"

Dean started to lift the cover of the sketch pad but Seamus put a hand on his arm to stop him and shook his head quickly. The look in his eyes said, _Not here_, and Dean nodded understandingly, setting the presents aside.

The rest of the day was just as enjoyable as the morning and when Dean and Seamus retired for the night, they could barely sleep.

"Oh, ye can look at the sketch pad now," Seamus told him, sitting up in his sleeping bag.

"I almost forgot," Dean said, pulling the pad from his pile of presents. He lifted the cover and saw a rather crude drawing of himself and Seamus waving back at him. The words "Best Mates" danced along at the bottom of the page.

"Didn't want ye to open it earlier in case Renee and Michelle saw it movin'. It's really bad, but I thought ye'd like it," Seamus said with a shrug.

Dean laughed as the drawing of him gave the drawing of Seamus a noogie and the drawing of Seamus tried to hit him with the letter B. "It's great, Shay. Thanks."

Seamus shrugged again. "'Course."

Dean closed the sketch book and set it back down. He went back to his bed and stared at the ceiling for a few moments, thinking about how lucky he was to have Seamus for a friend. He couldn't imagine Hogwarts – or life, even – without him.

He turned over on his side to say something to his friend, but he saw that Seamus had fallen asleep. Dean grinned; Seamus was like a child the way his moods shifted so quickly. He could be serious one moment, hyper the next, and then asleep in a couple seconds. Dean shook his head and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep to the sound of Seamus' familiar snores.

_KER-BLAM!_

Dean woke with a start the next morning, arms and legs flailing. He sat up and saw Seamus sitting on the floor with the candy-making kit in front of him, except the kit had exploded and was smoking slightly. Seamus was covered in blue and pink candy powder.

"Shut. Up," Seamus said warningly.

Dean had never laughed harder in his life.


	25. If

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**25. If**

Dean and Seamus sat in a corner of the crowded common room, their heads bent together. Ron had just been almost attacked by Sirius Black and nobody in Gryffindor Tower could sleep. The teachers were searching the castle again and Sir Cadogan had been removed. Neville sat alone in a cloud of shame. Ron was surrounded by Harry, Ginny, and his brothers. Hermione was pale from fright and looked like she wanted to go comfort Ron too, but didn't since they were feuding.

"Shay, it's could've been me," Dean said.

Seamus looked at him with shock. "Don't ye say thin's like that."

"My bed is right next to Ron's, Shay. It could've been me."

"It could've been any of us," Seamus told him. "Listen, it's all going to be okay. I promise."

Dean shook his head. Seamus put his forehead against Dean's and covered his friend's hands with his own.

"I won't let anything happen to you."


	26. Dementors

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**26. Dementors**

The next Hogsmeade weekend wasn't nearly as fun as the others had been. Black had escaped again and the number of Dementors had been increased around Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. Dean felt anxious the whole time, and not even Seamus catching his sleeve on fire in the Three Broomsticks could make him smile.

"D'ye wanna go back up to the castle, Dean?" Seamus asked after a while.

Dean shook his head. "No, I'm fine, you – "

"I have fun when ye're havin' fun, and ye're not. So let's go back, it's not a big deal."

Dean smiled gratefully at his friend and nodded. Together they made their way to the edge of the village where the path back to Hogwarts was. Dementors stood in a line in front of them. Dean's heart hammered in his chest as they approached the Dark creatures. He felt the familiar dread sweep over him. But then something felt wrong. He felt awful and cold and his knees went weak.

Seamus stopped walking when he realized Dean wasn't next to him anymore. He turned and saw that a Dementor had snuck up behind Dean. He whipped out his wand.

"_Expelliarmus!_" he shouted, the spell shooting right past the monster, causing no damage but certainly incurring its wrath. All of the Dementors swept toward Seamus, who ran away from Dean to draw them away from his friend. He kept shouting random spells at them. The cold and fear were beginning to take hold of him. He fell to his knees and fainted as the black cloaks swished around him.

Seamus woke up in the hospital wing, Dean asleep with his face buried in his arms on Seamus' bed. Seamus felt awful. Madam Pomfrey appeared at his side immediately and shoved some chocolate in his mouth.

"Dementors, honestly," she grumbled as she walked away, accidentally bumping Dean and waking him. Dean looked up and his expression broke into one of relief at the sight of Seamus awake.

"If chocolate is the remedy for Dementor attacks, I think I'll get attacked more often," Seamus joked as he bit off another piece.

"You're a moron, you know that?" Dean said, frowning. There was a hint of anger in his voice. "What were you thinking?!"

"I was _thinking_ ye were in danger," Seamus countered. "Ye'd've done the same for me."

"Yes, but – "

"I said I wouldn't let anythin' happen to ye," he interrupted pointedly.

Dean sighed and nodded. "Just don't do it again."

"Don't get attacked again."

"Shut up and eat your chocolate."

"Gladly."


	27. Ticket

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**27. Ticket**

"Did ye hear?"

Dean didn't look up from his textbook. "About Black escaping? Yeah, I did."

Seamus put a hand on his arm. "Are ye okay?"

"Yeah, I am. I don't think he'll be coming around Hogwarts anymore in the future," Dean said.

"But anyway, that's not what I was talkin' about."

He looked up. "What, then?"

"Lupin resigned."

"_What?!_"

Seamus nodded sadly. "Turns out he was a werewolf. He's been keepin' it a secret all year, lockin' himself up every full moon, but he was out on the grounds last night and doesn't think it's good for him to be around us anymore."

"Rubbish. He was the best professor we've ever had."

"Yeah."

Seamus didn't say anything more for a couple of moments and Dean turned back to his History of Magic textbook, trying to get himself to focus since final exams were coming up soon.

"Oh! Have ye heard about the World Cup?"

"The Quidditch Cup?" Dean asked. "No, why?"

"England's hosting it and it's Ireland versus Bulgaria," Seamus told him with an excited grin. "Me mam'll reserve a third ticket if ye want to come with."

"That sounds great, Shay!" he exclaimed, glad to have something to look forward to that summer. "I'll have to ask my mum, but I know she'll say yes. Thanks!"

"'Course," Seamus replied with a smile.


	28. Irish

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**28. Irish**

"IRELAND WINS!"

Seamus let out a huge roar and it was the loudest sound Dean had ever heard him emit.

"KRUM GETS THE SNITCH – BUT IRELAND WINS – "

Mrs. Finnigan started crying tears of joy as Seamus jumped up and down, clapping Dean on the back and shouting as he did so. Dean started jumping too. He couldn't help it; Seamus' enthusiasm was infectious.

It was clear to them, when they got back to camp, that the Irish were hell bent on celebrating all night long. There was singing and dancing and fireworks galore. Mrs. Finnigan even let them drink some firewhiskey under the strict instruction that they only got a little and they were to tell nobody that she let them have it.

Mrs. Finnigan retired to bed, leaving Dean and Seamus sitting next to each other by the campfire feeling giddy and slightly buzzed. Seamus began making up a song about Ireland's Quidditch team, but the commotion around them was too loud for Dean to understand it, although he figured it was awful like his Hogsmeade song had been. Seamus was the picture of bliss as he sang and swayed side to side. The firelight lit up his features as he smiled happily at Dean. Dean looked down at Seamus' shirt. It read "Kiss me, I'm Irish."

Something in Dean shifted and his gut twisted a little bit. He felt kind of funny and his mind felt cloudy, but he figured that was just the firewhiskey taking effect.

_Kiss me, I'm Irish._

_Kiss me._

_Kiss._

_Me._

_Irish._

Suddenly Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips against Seamus'. He didn't know why he was doing it, he just felt like it. And it felt like the right thing to do. It was a sloppy, messy kiss, far from perfect. Their chins bumped and their teeth knocked a bit. Seamus slobbered a bit as he responded enthusiastically, his lips moving fiercely against Dean's. Dean pulled away a moment later.

"What was that for?" Seamus asked with a grin, a light blush gracing his features.

Dean pointed dumbly at Seamus' shirt as explanation. Seamus glanced down at his shirt and then looked back up at Dean. They both promptly burst into laughter.


	29. Normal

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**29. Normal**

"Boys! Boys, get up!" Mrs. Finnigan shouted.

"What's happenin'?" Seamus asked as he sat up in his bed. He heard Dean sit up in the bed across from his.

"Somethin's happened," she replied, tossing their jackets at them. "There've been attacks. Get out of here, hide in the woods."

Seamus and Dean threw themselves out of their beds, hastily pulling their jackets on. She ushered them out of the tent.

"Wait in the woods!" she called before running toward the source of the commotion.

"Mam!" Seamus shouted desperately, making a move to chase after her, but Dean grabbed his arm.

"We have to get out of here," Dean said urgently.

"But – "

"_Diffindo!_"

Dean pushed Seamus to the ground and let out a cry of anguish as the spell hit him.

"Dean!" Seamus exclaimed, eyes wide in horror as he stared at the long cut down Dean's chest underneath the torn shirt, blood starting to drip from the wound.

"Let's go!" Dean said, putting one hand against his chest and using the other to help his friend up. They joined the stampede of people heading for the forest, tripping and stumbling over themselves in panic. They didn't stop until they reached the tree line, where Seamus forced Dean to sit down with his back to a tree.

"Are ye okay?" he asked worriedly, one hand gripping Dean's shoulder, the other hovering over the wound. "Does it hurt? I wish I knew healin' spells. Maybe – "

"Shay, 'm alright," Dean replied, his breath hitching slightly.

Seamus shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

"'S not your fault."

"Yes it – "

Seamus was cut off as the entire forest exploded with terrified screams. He looked around, trying to find what they were panicking about now, when he saw it.

"_No_," he breathed, the blood draining from his face.

"What?" Dean asked, looking the direction that Seamus was. His jaw dropped when he saw the huge green skull with a snake for a tongue floating in the air. "Shay…what is that?"

"It's…It's Ye-Know-Who's mark," Seamus replied, his voice small and scared. "Durin' the war they put that in the sky whenever they…whenever they killed someone."

"Merlin," Dean muttered, shaking his head. "Can't ever seem to have a normal, danger-free year, can we?"

"Guess not," Seamus said.

They didn't talk about anything else until the attack was over and it was safe for them to leave the forest, and they certainly didn't talk about the kiss. Or about how it was both their first. Or about how – although they'd laughed it off – they both kind of liked it.


	30. Girls

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**30. Girls**

"Did you see her?"

Seamus looked up from his Charms book. "What're ye on about?"

"The Beauxbatons girl!" Dean exclaimed. "The one who…you know…" He sighed dreamily and Seamus wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"She's not that great," Seamus said.

"Not that – " Dean looked flabbergasted. "She's _perfect!_" He sighed again. "I think I might try drawing her."

"That's creepy, mate."

"I don't care. Artists are drawn to beautiful things."

Seamus rolled his eyes and ignored the weird twinge in his gut.

"It's nice to have new girls in the castle, anyway," Dean said. "Have some variety for once."

Seamus snorted and Dean glared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"I was beginnin' to think ye was a poofer, Dean. It's good to see ye _do_ have an interest in girls after all," Seamus said with a grin.

Dean swatted his arm.


	31. Champion

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**31. Champion**

"The champion for Durmstrang will be Viktor Krum!" Dumbledore announced.

"Bloody Bulgarian," Seamus muttered to Dean as they clapped.

Dean laughed and rolled his eyes, watching as the sallow man walk along the Slytherin table. The cheering died down and they waited for the Goblet to spit out the next name.

"The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour!"

Dean grabbed Seamus' shoulder, pointing wildly.

"Ow, Dean! Get off!" Seamus exclaimed, trying to dislodge Dean's clawed fingers from his shoulder.

"Shay, _that's her!_"

Seamus turned and saw the stunningly beautiful girl approaching the High Table. She really was a sight to see, but Seamus wasn't about to lose his mind over her.

"Like I said, she's not that great," he said, but Dean wasn't listening. He was too busy staring at Fleur, his eyes glued to her back until she disappeared into the side chamber.

"The Hogwarts champion is Cedric Diggory!"

The Hufflepuff table quite literally exploded. They were screaming and cheering and clapping loud enough to rival the noise the Irish supporters made after the World Cup. Cedric was grinning widely as he made his way to the side chamber where Fleur and Krum were waiting.

"Not Diggory!" Seamus groaned.

"I think it's nice the Hufflepuffs have a chance to prove themselves," Dean said.

Seamus shook his head and glared at the Hufflepuff table, which continued to cheer and clap enthusiastically.

"Excellent! Well, we now…" Dumbledore was saying, but Seamus tuned him out. He wasn't interested anymore, but then Dumbledore went quiet and Seamus looked up.

The fire had turned red again.

"What's happening?" Dean asked.

"Dunno."

A piece of parchment flew out of the Goblet and Dumbledore caught at it. He stared at it for several long moments before clearing his throat and saying, "_Harry Potter_."

The entire Hall turned to face Harry, who looked shocked and stricken. People started to whisper angrily to each other.

"I didn't put my name in," Harry said desperately to Ron and Hermione. "You know I didn't."

"Yeah right," Seamus muttered to himself.

The Hall went silent as they watched Harry walk up to Dumbledore, who directed him into the side chamber where Krum, Fleur, and Cedric had gone.

"Do ye think he did it?" Seamus asked.

"He says he didn't."

Seamus rolled his eyes. "It's called _lyin'_, Dean."

"But Harry's not a liar, Shay," Dean replied. "Not in my experience. Besides, you saw his face. He was shocked."

"Probably 'cause he didn't think it'd work."

Dean shook his head in disagreement but didn't say anything more.

"Well, at least we don't have to support Diggory!" Seamus said brightly.


	32. Sketch

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**32. Sketch**

"Hey, Shay, have you seen my – "

Dean stopped in the doorway of the dormitories, staring in shock. Seamus was sitting on his bed, looking at one of Dean's sketchbooks. Usually that was fine – Dean liked hearing what Seamus had to say about his drawings – but Dean didn't want him to be looking at _that_ drawing.

The drawing was of Seamus. He was sitting cross-legged, slouching slightly with his hands clasped in his lap. He was looking up at something with a big, goofy grin. His sandy hair fell perfectly in his face and his blue eyes were bright. That was all fine and well, but there was something different about the feel of the drawing, different from all of Dean's other sketches. It was clear that Dean had spent a lot of time on the drawing, going great lengths to make sure it was perfect. Beyond the goofy joy in Seamus' eyes, there was something deeper and hidden there. The edges of Seamus' body were soft and blurred and it appeared as though he was glowing.

Dean had drawn a lot of people, but never before had he drawn Seamus. Seamus always joked that Dean should sketch him, but Dean had never done it before. He was always scared that he wouldn't properly capture Seamus, all his quirks and twists and turns, but he decided that he had to at least try. He just hadn't been ready for Seamus to see it yet – if ever.

"Shay – " Dean started.

"This is me?" he asked, looking up with an emotionless expression.

Dean bit his lip and nodded.

"So this is how ye see me?"

"Most of the time," Dean replied. "There are a lot of other sides of you that I haven't drawn yet."

"Yet?" Seamus asked with raised eyebrows. "Ye want to draw me _more?_"

"You're a challenge," Dean said with what he hoped was a nonchalant shrug.

Seamus nodded, then studied the sketch again. "I didn't pose for this."

"I drew it from memory."

"Ye memorized me?"

Dean pursed his lips, glaring at Seamus in embarrassment. "We've been friends for four years, Shay, I think I remember what you look like," he snapped, even though _yes_, he had memorized Seamus, from his sharp points to his soft curves. He knew every angle and shade of Seamus, but he'd be hard pressed to admit that.

Seamus grinned cheekily. "Still creepy, mate."

"Do you like it?" Dean asked hopefully.

"Well, it's a bit…" Seamus started, but stopped at Dean's crestfallen expression. "Kiddin', Dean, 'course I like it."

Dean smiled, filled with relief. "Good."


	33. Dates

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**33. Dates**

"Did ye hear?"

Dean stretched his arms above his head and sat up, looking at Seamus, whose head was poking between Dean's bed curtains.

"What this time?" he asked.

Seamus slipped through the curtains and sat cross-legged in front of Dean.

"Ron tried asking yer French girl to the Yule Ball," he said.

Dean's jaw dropped. "He didn't."

"He did!" Seamus cackled. "Speakin' of, have _ye_ asked anyone yet?"

"No, I thought – " He stopped suddenly, realizing he'd been about to say that he thought he and Seamus would go together. They always did everything together, so it hadn't even crossed his mind how weird it would be for two blokes to go to a ball together.

He cleared his throat. "Have _you_ asked someone?"

"Yeah, Lavender."

Dean blinked, surprised that Seamus had asked somebody already when Dean hadn't even considered it. Seamus looked at him a little worriedly. He realized how strange he was acting and gave his friend a grin.

"Really? Lavender?" he asked. "She's a bit crazy."

"Shut it, mate, she's not so bad," Seamus replied. "Who are ye thinkin' of askin'?"

Dean shrugged. "I'm not sure. Haven't given it much thought."

_Haven't given it _any_ thought, actually_, he thought to himself.

"Well, you might have to work a bit to find a date," Seamus warned him. "Harry and Ron are taking the Patils, and Hermione, Fay, and Ginger have dates too."

Dean chewed his lip. "What about Ron's sister? Ginny?"

Seamus grinned like a cat. "She's going with Neville."

"_What?_" Dean asked, eyes wide. Neville Longbottom had gotten a date before he did? He shook his head. "Nevermind. I'll find somebody."

"Maybe ye could ask one of them French girls ye're always staring at."

Dean looked up at Seamus, detecting a note of bitterness in his friend's voice, but Seamus wasn't looking at him.

"Maybe I will," he said, sure to keep his tone even so he could measure Seamus' reaction.

Seamus nodded and frowned down at the bedspread.

"Right then," the Irishman said, then disappeared back through the curtains, leaving Dean feeling miserable and confused.


	34. Dancing

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**34. Dancing**

As luck would have it, all the Beauxbatons girls already had dates and Dean had no desire to approach any of the frightening Durmstrang girls, which was how he ended up going to the Yule Ball with Eloise Midgen.

When Dean and Seamus appeared in the common room, Lavender immediately draped herself all over Seamus, which put Dean into a sour mood. Seamus tried grinning at Dean, but Dean just glared grumpily at his feet.

"C'mon, let's go," Dean said gruffly to Eloise, who looked surprisingly nice for once. Her acne had cleared up a bit and she'd done her hair up in a bun. She wore a green dress.

She followed him wordlessly. As they went through the portrait hole, he subconsciously put a hand on the small of her back to help her through before he realized that she wasn't Seamus. Then he realized that he hadn't even noticed that habit of his, helping Seamus through the portrait hole. It wasn't like Seamus really _needed_ the help – he could get through fine on his own – it was just something that Dean did, something that he always did.

"I know you don't want to go with me," she mumbled as they walked down to the Great Hall.

Dean looked at her in shock, his mouth hanging open as he wondered what he should say. He could protest and say he did want to go with her, but then he'd be lying and he wasn't a liar. But at the same time, he didn't want to agree and possibly hurt her feelings.

"It's okay, you know. I understand," she said. "But if you could just dance with me once then I'll be out of your hair for the rest of the night. I'm not one for parties, anyway."

Dean's gaze softened in sympathy as he stared down at the girl by his side. She really wasn't that bad. At least she wasn't crazy like Lavender. His lips pursed as he thought of her and Seamus and he closed his eyes, clearing his head, then turned to Eloise.

"Only one dance?" he asked with a slight smile. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask for at least two, if it's not much trouble."

Eloise looked up at him in surprised, a smile across her face. She blushed and nodded.

They sat at the same table as Seamus, Lavender, Ron, Padma, Neville, and Ginny, but Dean deliberately put Eloise between himself and Seamus. Their relationship had felt strange and strained since their conversation about dates, and he definitely didn't want to sit next to Seamus while Lavender was on his other side.

After a while, everybody finished eating and the Weird Sisters came on. They saw Parvati drag Harry out with the other champions to dance. Harry looked so stiff and awkward and Parvati looked so miffed that Dean couldn't help but grin at the comical sight. He and Seamus automatically turned to each other to exchange amused glances and then began laughing. Harry heard them and glared at them; they simply waved back. Dean and Seamus grinned at each other again and he felt like their relationship had been repaired, just like that.

Dancing with Eloise wasn't all that bad, as it turned out. Actually, it was, because they were both horrible dancers, but that was what made it fun. They danced two songs and then Dean led her off the dance floor.

"Thanks, Dean," she said brightly. "I had fun."

"You're welcome," he replied, instead of saying "'course;" that was his and Seamus' word. "You don't have to go," he told her.

She shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'm tired anyway."

"Do you want me to walk you back to the common room?" he asked.

"No, but thank you," she replied.

He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "Have a good night, Eloise."

She smiled and waved as she left the Great Hall. Dean watched her go and then turned to go sit down at his table again – this time next to Seamus.

"Where'd Lavender go?" Dean asked with a tone of concern, although he wasn't sorry to see her go.

"She went off with some Durmstrang bloke. Guess his accent was more interestin' than mine," Seamus joked. "Have you seen Hermione?"

"Hard _not_ to see her," Dean replied.

"She looks great."

"Sure does."

The Weird Sisters began singing a fast, upbeat tune and everybody began dancing energetically, especially Fred and Angelina. Dean looked at Seamus, who wore an expression of boredom, and got an idea.

"Let's dance," he said.

Seamus gave him a strange look. "What?"

"Dance with me!" Dean said again. "Or would you rather sit here with them?" he asked, jerking his thumb across the table where Ron sat sulking and Percy was chatting Harry's ear off.

"Good point."

Dean laughed and grabbed Seamus' wrist, pulling him out onto the dance floor. They found a spot in the middle of the dance floor and started dancing. Seamus was an awful dancer too, and they couldn't stop smiling at how silly they felt. Dean grabbed Seamus' hands and began swinging their arms. Some people watched them and laughed; they caught Hermione watching them with a smile.

The song ended a couple minutes later and they breathlessly left the Hall.

"That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever done," Seamus told him with a grin as they went outside, heading down one of the paths between the rose bushes.

"But it was fun," Dean replied.

Seamus nodded. "Thanks, mate."

"'Course."

They found a bench and saw on it while they caught their breath. The Weird Sisters' music floated through the Great Hall's open windows. It was a slow song this time. Dean stood up and offered his hand to Seamus. Seamus eyed him warily.

"It's a slow song, mate," he said.

"So?"

"If people see us they'll think we're poofers."

Dean looked around them. "I don't see anyone. C'mon, Shay, it's just dancing."

Seamus sighed and let Dean pull him up off the bench. Once they were standing, Dean took Seamus' left hand in his and then they paused. Being the shorter of the two, Seamus should've put his hand on Dean's shoulder, but he wasn't a sodding _girl_ so instead he stood there doing nothing.

Dean sensed his friend's discomfort and put his hand on Seamus' ribcage instead of on his waist; he figured it was neutral ground. Seamus smiled and rested his hand on Dean's upper arm. Slowly, they started swaying around in a circle, just staring and smiling at each other.

They couldn't help it: both of them were thinking about the night of the World Cup and the kiss they'd shared. Without realizing it, Dean's hand had slid to Seamus' back, pulling him closer, and Seamus' hand was now gripping the back of Dean's shoulder. Their chests bumped slightly as they swayed. This just felt right, somehow.

The song ended, but they didn't let go of each other. They kept staring, each trying to decipher the strange emotion in the other's eyes. Subconsciously, they started leaning in toward each other. Their noses were almost touching, breath was mingling –

"'Ow dare you!"

The shriek echoed through the air and Dean and Seamus sprang apart from each other, clearing their throats loudly and awkwardly. They glanced at each other and exchanged apologetic grins, then rubbed the back of their heads.

"'M kinda tired," Seamus said.

"Me too," Dean agreed.

They headed back into the castle and up to Gryffindor Tower, where they changed into their pajamas and sat in the empty common room. Most people were still at the ball, they figured. They both felt a little nervous being alone together in front of the crackling fire after what just happened. Or rather, almost happened.

Seamus glanced over at his friend, thinking about their dance in the courtyard and what it meant. He opened his mouth to voice his thoughts when the portrait hole burst open, startling them both.

" – honestly, Ronald, why – "

"Don't call me that!"

"Then don't call Viktor _Vicky!_"

It was Ron and Hermione, and they were apparently fighting again. Dean and Seamus shrank back into their armchairs, trying not to be seen.

"I can call him what I bloody well want to!" Ron shouted.

She balled her hands into fists. "You have got to be the most immature, childish – "

"At least I'm not being used for information!" he countered.

Hermione let out an angry cry. "I _told_ you, we've never even _talked_ about the tournament!"

Ron shook his head. "Why'd you have to go with _him_ of all people, anyway?"

"Because he _asked_ me, Ron!" she yelled, a couple of locks of hair falling into her face. "A nice boy asked me to go to the ball with him and I said yes. I don't see what your problem is!"

"I…I just don't like it!"

The portrait hole opened again, but neither Ron nor Hermione noticed. This time Harry stepped through, and he looked shocked to see his two best friends in such a feud.

"Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" Hermione shouted.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Ron yelled back, his face red with anger.

"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!" she screamed, then spun around and ran up the girls' staircase.

Ron opened and closed his mouth several times, but nothing came out. He finally noticed Harry and stammered out, "Well…well – that just proves – completely missed the point – "

Harry was silent and Ron turned around to go up the boys' staircase, still muttering to himself. He noticed Dean and Seamus sitting in the armchairs, staring at him with wide eyes, and Ron blushed even darker and went up to the dormitories. Harry gave Dean and Seamus a miserable, helpless look before following his friend.

"Wish those two'd quit fighting and admit how they feel," Dean murmured.

Seamus swallowed the lump that had strangely risen in his throat and looked away from Dean. "Yeah."

* * *

This was one of my favorite chapters to write =)

~Ki


	35. Dead

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**35. Dead**

Everybody had been greatly looking forward to the third task, hoping there'd be more to watch than the second one, but they were dismayed by the twenty foot tall hedges that had taken up the Quidditch field when they arrived. They all cheered as Ludo Bagman told them the current point tally and then Harry and Cedric were off into the maze, followed by Krum, and then by Fleur.

Since they couldn't see anything, the students took to imagining what the champions could be facing in the maze.

"What if Hagrid stuck one of his Skrewts in there?" Neville asked, his face pale.

"What if there's a banshee?" Dean wondered, grinning at Seamus.

"How about a severed hand?" Seamus countered.

Parvati shuddered. "Or a mummy!"

They saw red sparks fly up out of the maze and a buzzing hush fell over the crowd as the officials went in to rescue the champion.

"It's yer French girl," Seamus whispered to Dean.

"She's not _my_ French girl," Dean hissed back.

Sure enough, however, an unconscious Fleur was being pulled from the maze. Bagman performed a spell and she woke up. When she realized where she was, her expression crumpled and she put her face in her hands. The crowd began to clap respectively for her as Madam Maxime took Fleur into her massive arms. People were trying to talk to Fleur, to get her to tell them what was in the maze, but she was too upset to talk to anybody. She looked really disappointed in herself.

"Poor girl," Parvati murmured.

About ten minutes later more red sparks were sent up. Everyone held their breath. All the Hogwarts students began whispering excitedly to each other when they saw it was Krum being dragged out. He was unconscious too, but a quick spell woke him up. He seemed really disoriented. They clapped respectively for him as well, but the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students now looked distinctly unhappy and disinterested in the task now that it was sure to be a Hogwarts victory.

"It's been nearly half an hour since they pulled Krum out," Seamus complained. "What's takin' them so long?"

"Do you think they're having it out with each other?" Dean asked.

Seamus shrugged.

Just then Harry appeared at the edge of the maze, lying on top of Cedric with the Cup in his hands. Everybody rose to their feet and cheered.

"Harry has the Cup!" Lavender exclaimed.

"Does that mean Gryffindor wins?!" Parvati asked excitedly.

But something was wrong. Cedric wasn't moving and Harry was…_crying_. The realization sank in –

"He's dead," Seamus whispered, his eyes filling with tears. "Dean, he's…he's dead, isn't he?"

Parvati and Lavender screamed, as did the rest of the crowd as the whispers of "Cedric's dead!" "He's dead!" "What happened?" "He can't be dead!" spread through the crowd. Seamus swayed dizzily, a cold numb filling his entire body as the tears rolled down his face. Dean was crying too as he clutched at Seamus' hand.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Seamus whispered, squeezing Dean's hand tightly.

"I know," Dean murmured.

"I thought they made it safer," he said, looking up at Dean. "I thought they…"

Seamus trailed off, crying softly into Dean's shoulder, and Dean's teardrops landed in the Irishman's hair as Mr. and Mrs. Diggory's cries of agony reached their ears.


	36. Liar

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**36. Liar**

"Not the most uplifting song the Hat's ever sung, was it?" Dean asked Seamus as they put up posters and photographs around their beds. They'd arrived at the dormitories first and had the space to themselves for a little while.

"Not exactly," Seamus muttered. "Do you believe what it said about Hogwarts bein' in danger and all?"

"I don't know why it would lie," Dean replied. "What it said about uniting makes sense, though."

"Like we'd ever unite with those soddin' Slythins," Seamus scoffed.

They continued unpacking in silence for a few moments, Seamus thinking hard about something.

"You think we might be in danger, then?" he asked eventually.

Dean nodded. "Well, Dumbledore did say that You-Know-Who was back at the end-of-the-year feast last year."

"But that can't be true!" Seamus exclaimed, a slightly panicked look in his eyes. "I mean, he died ages ago, everyone says so."

"You think Harry and Dumbledore are lying, then?"

Seamus gave him a curious look. "Haven't ye been readin' the Prophet?"

He shook his head. "No, my parents think owls swooping in with newspapers every day would tip off Michelle. Besides, I didn't want them to find out about Cedric dying. I didn't want to worry them and they might not've let me come back."

"Me mam almost didn't."

His jaw dropped. "_What?_ Why didn't you tell me?!"

Seamus glared at him. "We haven't seen each other and ye barely wrote me all summer, Dean! Did I do somethin' wrong? Have ye been avoidin' me?"

Dean looked away, feeling ashamed. It was true, he had been avoiding Seamus. He just hadn't been sure how they were supposed to act like it was just another summer when Cedric had just died, and how could he have expressed that in a letter? So he just avoided the issue, but that was apparently not the right way to go about it.

He cleared his throat. "No, 'course not Shay. What's happened?"

"Well naturally she got real scared after Cedric got…after he died," Seamus said quickly. Dean noticed how he avoided saying Cedric got killed. "And then with Dumbledore and Harry runnin' around like madmen sayin' Ye-Know-Who is back, she didn't want me to come back. Fought with her about it all summer."

"But where would you have gone?" Dean asked incredulously.

"She suggested Beauxbatons since it's sorta close and fairly reputable," Seamus wrinkled his nose. "I told her I'd rather go to Salem Prep in the States than ever step foot in that prissy French school. She doesn't much like the States, so she caved after a while and said I could come back."

"So she thinks Harry and Dumbledore are lying?"

"Well, nobody knows what really happened, do they?" Seamus asked. "All we have to go on is Harry's word. And if you think about it, everythin' Harry's done nobody's been around to see. He was alone when he defeated Quirrell, and same with whatever monster was in the Chamber – _if _there really was one. Who knows if he's actually been tellin' the truth or if it's all been an act for attention?"

Dean frowned. "I don't think he would – "

They stopped short when they realized that Harry and Neville had just walked into the dorm. Harry eyed them as if he knew they'd just been talking about him. Dean felt a flash of guilt and got back to putting on his pajamas.

"Hey, Harry," he said. "Good holiday?"

"Not bad. You?"

"Yeah, it was okay." He laughed a bit nervously. "Better than Seamus' anyway, he was just telling me."

"Why, what happened, Seamus?" Neville asked, putting a rather horrid looking cactus on his bedside cabinet.

Seamus glared at Dean, his back turned to Harry and Neville. He turned his attention to his Kenmare Kestrels poster and pressed on the edges about five times to stall before he answered.

"Me mam didn't want me to come back."

"What?" Harry sounded nearly as surprised as Dean did.

"She didn't want me to come back to Hogwarts," he elaborated as he pulled out his pajamas, not making eye contact with anyone.

"But – why?"

Seamus felt a hot flash of anger run through him as he pulled his pants on. As if he didn't know. All of this was his doing, after all. He finished buttoning his shirt and carefully maintained his tone as he said, "Well, I suppose…because of you."

"What d'you mean?" Harry asked.

Seamus pursed his lips. "Well, she…er…well, it's not just you, it's Dumbledore too…"

"She believes the _Daily Prophet_?" Harry sounded angry. "She thinks I'm a liar and Dumbledore's an old fool?"

Seamus stared defiantly at him. "Yeah, somethin' like that."

Harry angrily changed into his pajamas, every movement he made was filled with aggression. He'd climbed into his bed and was reaching for the curtains when Seamus asked,

"Look…what _did_ happen that night when…you know, when…with Cedric Diggory and all?"

Dean went still. Seamus' voice had gone funny, like he was earnestly trying to figure out the truth from Harry, like he was really trying to give Harry a chance.

"What are you asking me for?" Harry snapped. "Just read the _Daily Prophet_ like your mother, why don't you? That'll tell you all you need to know."

Dean shook his head. Harry had let his anger get the best of him and it was only going to go downhill from here.

"Don't you have a go at my mother," Seamus growled.

"I'll have a go at anyone who calls me a liar."

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"I'll talk to you how I want." Harry grabbed his wand off his bedside table. Dean tensed up, ready to step in in case he went for Seamus. "If you've got a problem sharing a dormitory with me, go and ask McGonagall if you can be moved, stop your mummy worrying – "

"Leave my mother out of this, Potter!"

"What's going on?"

Dean turned to see Ron standing in the doorway looking bewildered.

"He's havin' a go at my mother!" Seamus answered, shaking with anger.

"What? Harry wouldn't do that – we met your mother, we liked her…"

"That's before she started believing every word the stinking _Daily Prophet_ writes about me!" Harry roared.

"Oh. Oh…right." Ron frowned as the realization hit him.

"You know what?" Seamus' voice had gone icy cold. "He's right, I don't want to share a dormitory with him anymore, he's a madman."

"That's out of order, Seamus," Ron defended, his ears red with anger.

"Out of order, am I?" The blood was draining out of Seamus' face. Dean wanted to step in, but he didn't want Seamus to turn on him too. "Ye believe all the rubbish he's come out with about Ye-Know-Who, do ye, ye reckon he's telling the truth?"

"Yeah, I do!" Ron snapped.

"Then ye're mad too," Seamus spat.

Ron took a threatening step forward, jabbing at the badge on his chest. "Yeah? Well unfortunately for you, pal, I'm also a prefect! So unless you want detention, watch your mouth!"

Seamus was fuming. He'd give anything to hex Ron, detention be damned, but if he got in trouble his first day back his mom would definitely pull him out of Hogwarts. He turned to his bed and pulled on the curtains so hard they ripped off and fell to the floor.

Ron glared at everyone. "Anyone else's parents got a problem with Harry?"

His eyes landed on Dean, who put his hands up. "My parents are Muggles, mate. They don't know nothing about no deaths at Hogwarts, because I'm not stupid enough to tell them."

"Ye don't know my mother, she'll weasel anythin' out of anyone!" Seamus retorted at Dean, causing a hurt look to flash across his friend's face. "Anyway, yer parents don't get the _Daily Prophet_, they don't know our headmaster's been sacked from the Wizengamot and the International Confederation of Wizards because he's losin' his marbles – "

"My gran says that's rubbish," Neville quipped. "She says it's the _Daily Prophet_ that's going downhill, not Dumbledore. She's cancelled out subscription. We believe Harry," he said as he got into his bed, glancing nervously at Seamus. "My gran's always said You-Know-Who would come back one day. She says if Dumbledore says he's back, he's back."

Harry gave Neville a sappy look of gratitude and Seamus decided that he'd had enough. He repaired his curtains and promptly closed them, not even saying goodnight to Dean. Dean shook his head sadly and got into his own bed. His outlooks for the rest of the school year had not improved one bit.

* * *

A lot of this chapter is made up of exact quotes from OotP, so I'm just going to remind everybody that everything (Except Salem Prep, my creation) belongs to our queen, J.K. Rowling. I'm simply embellishing the story =)

~Ki


	37. Hurt

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**37. Hurt**

Dean laid awake hours later, his mind filled with worried thoughts. He heard Seamus begin to toss and turn on his mattress and knew that his friend must've woken up and not been able to fall asleep.

"Shay?" he whispered.

Seamus stopped moving but didn't respond.

"Shay, you know Harry didn't mean the stuff he said. You know how he gets when he's angry."

"He meant it," Seamus said so quietly Dean almost didn't hear him.

"You can't think – "

"And even if he didn't, I did. I meant every word."

Dean moved to get out of the bed and go over to him. He pushed his curtains aside when Seamus spoke again.

"Stay in yer bed, Dean," he muttered. "I don't want to talk to ye."

Dean froze. He ignored the hurt feeling that flooded through his body and moved his curtains back into place. He pursed his lips and took a deep breath, laying back down.

"Alright, okay, that's…that's fine," he said, as if trying to convince himself rather than Seamus. "We'll just…we'll just talk in the morning, right Shay?"

But Seamus didn't respond, and Dean got the feeling that they weren't going to.

He was right. The next morning, Seamus dressed and left the dormitory in the amount of time it took Dean to stretch and get out of bed.

"Does he think he'll turn into a nutter if he stays in a room with me too long?" Harry asked as Seamus disappeared through the door, his voice loud enough so Seamus would hear.

"Don't worry about it, Harry," Dean said quietly. "He's just…" He trailed off, unsure of how to explain it. How could he explain it to Harry, who didn't know Seamus half as well as Dean did, if Dean himself didn't understand?

He shook his head in frustration and left the dormitory.


	38. Compromise

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**38. Compromise**

"Now that we've got _that_ little nuisance sorted out," Umbridge said sweetly, having just sent Harry to McGonagall's office, "let's return to the reading, shall we?"

Dean made to protest again, but he felt a hand on his wrist and turned to see Seamus staring at him with a serious expression. They hadn't talked since Seamus had sent him away in the middle of the night their first night back. Seamus scribbled quickly on his book and pushed it over slightly so Dean could read it.

_Don't. Not worth it_, Seamus' scrawl read.

Dean glanced up to make sure Umbridge's back was turned and then wrote back, _It is if she's punishing Harry for telling the truth_

Seamus frowned and wrote, _So you believe him?_

_Yeah, I do _

Seamus paused, his hand unmoving, and Dean wrote again:

_Problem?_

_No, it's fine. Just don't want to talk about it_

Dean nodded, feeling glad that they had reached a compromise. _Sounds good_


	39. Strain

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**39. Strain**

"Where're ye off to?" Seamus asked, looking up with a frown.

Neville and Dean stopped in the doorway of the dormitory, looking at each other with uncomfortable expressions. Dean nodded at Neville, silently telling him to go on, and then turned to Seamus.

"A meeting," Dean told him earnestly once Neville had gone. "If you want to come – "

"I'm not bein' taught spells by that madman," Seamus snapped. "Go on and have fun at yer little club, then."

Dean pursed his lips. "Listen, Shay, we're learning really useful stuff – "

"I don't care," Seamus said tersely. "We said we wouldn't talk about this, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I know we did, but – "

"So what else is there to talk about?"

Dean sighed, feeling agitated. Seamus was still standing firm in his belief that Harry was a liar and it was beginning to put a serious strain on their relationship, especially since Dean was in the D.A. and Seamus wasn't, cutting their time together at least in half.

"That's what I thought," Seamus said, flipping a page in his Divination book. "Go on then, just don't get caught."

Dean moved resignedly toward the door and paused. "Shay, you're technically not supposed to know since you're not in it, you know."

"I know."

"You're…you're not going to tell anyone, are you?" he asked nervously. "You've been keeping it a secret?"

Seamus looked up at him, a hurt and offended look on his face. "'Course I have! 'M not a bloody squealer! Who do ye think I am?!"

"I'm sorry, Shay – "

"No, it's fine, I get it," Seamus said, running a hand through his sandy hair. He looked distinctly unhappy, but flashed a forced smile at him. "Just go, Dean. I haven't told anyone and I'm not plannin' to. I may want Potter out of here, but I don't want ye gettin' expelled too."

Dean nodded, the corners of his mouth turned up a little, and left the dormitory, feeling slightly better. At least Seamus still wanted him around.


	40. Quibbler

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**40. Quibbler**

"Did you hear?"

Seamus grinned at hearing his catchphrase coming from Dean's mouth and looked away from the fireplace in the common room to meet his friend's eyes.

"Hear what?" he asked.

Dean dropped a copy of the _Quibbler_ in his lap.

"Have you read it yet?" Dean asked him.

Seamus shook his head, frowning at the heading: _Harry Potter Speaks Out at Last_.

"You should," Dean said in his mothering voice, AKA the voice that Seamus hated. "You might see things in a different light."

Dean gave him a smile and walked away, leaving Seamus sitting alone in front of the fire. Seamus huffed in resentment and lifted the cover of the magazine.


	41. Teacher

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**41. Teacher**

"Poor Trelawney," Dean said as he and Seamus walked back to Gryffindor Tower together. Umbridge had just tried throwing Trelawney out of the castle after sacking her, but thankfully Dumbledore had stepped in.

Seamus laughed a bit. "Never thought I'd hear ye say that."

Dean grinned at Seamus. "Neither did I."

"That Umbridge woman's drivin' me up the wall with all her decrees," Seamus said darkly. "And she's a shit teacher, too. I'll never pass me O.W.L.'s if I don't get taught something useful soon."

Dean paused, staring at Seamus in amazement. "Shay, are you saying – ?"

Seamus nodded sheepishly. "D'ye think Harry would mind if I came next time ye meet? I already apologized, told him I believe him, and – "

He was cut off by Dean embracing him sharply. Seamus froze, surprised by the sudden contact; they hadn't hugged or anything since…well, since Cedric died.

"Get off me, ye nutter," Seamus said with a laugh after hugging Dean back.

"This is great, Shay," Dean said as he released him. "You're going to love it. Harry's a great teacher."

Seamus nodded and grinned. "He better be after all that stuff he's done."

"Trust me," Dean told him, smiling.

He smiled back. "I do."


	42. Foxy

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**42. Foxy**

"Harry, I think I'm doin' it!" Seamus shouted, a silvery form flowing out from the tip of his wand. "Look – ah – it's gone…But it was definitely somethin' hairy, Harry!"

Seamus turned to Dean, who was watching his Great Dane Patronus as it bounded across the Room of Requirement. Seamus frowned.

"How is yers so good?" he asked, a jealous note in his voice.

"Just think of something that makes you happy, Shay," Dean said.

"'M tryin'!" Seamus exclaimed. "It's hard to think of happy things when Ye-Know-Whois, y'know, back and all!"

Dean glanced down at his friend and saw Seamus looking up at him, pouting grumpily. Dean rolled his eyes.

"How about when Ireland won the Cup?" Dean suggested. "You were happy then."

A grin spread across Seamus' face as he remembered the World Cup, but the happiest moment of that day wasn't when Ireland won. He blushed slightly as he remembered the joy that had bubbled up in his gut when a pair of lips had pressed unexpectedly to his at the fireside.

Seamus closed his eyes, focusing on that feeling, and then said, "Expecto Patronum!"

A silvery fox burst out of his wand and ran alongside Dean's Patronus until they both turned into mist. Seamus turned excitedly to Dean, who was grinning at him.

"Nice one!" Dean said.

"Thanks!"

"'Course! Was that a fox?" he asked.

Seamus nodded. "Yep! Not surprising, though."

"Why not?" Dean asked amusedly.

"It's cause 'm so bloody foxy," Seamus said, waggling his eyebrows playfully.

Dean burst into laughter and Seamus joined him. Some people looked over at them with smiles, Hermione being one of them. She hadn't been able to stop giving them sappy looks since they'd stopped fighting over whether Harry was right or not.

"What was your happy memory?" Dean asked. "Ireland winning?"

"Um, yeah, that…" Seamus rubbed the back of his head. "What was yours?"

Dean looked like he was blushing, but before he could answer somebody came into the Room of Requirement. Everyone got really quiet, but Dean couldn't see who had come in until the person reached Harry, then he saw that it was Dobby the house-elf.

"What's happening?" Seamus asked quietly.

"Dunno, but it doesn't look good," Dean replied as Dobby threw himself at a wall.

Harry was talking intently to Dobby as they shuffled closer. Suddenly Dobby let out a wail and Harry shouted.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RUN!"

They all sprinted for the exit, knowing that Harry's reaction could only mean one thing: they'd been discovered.

"Shay, c'mon!" Dean yelled, restraining his gait so he could run alongside his shorter friend.

He grabbed Seamus' hand and pulled him along, outstripping the other students as they ran toward the Owlery. They and a couple Hufflepuffs got to the Owlery and tried to slow down their breathing as they pretended to be busy with the owls.

"Shay, did you…did you tell?" Dean whispered.

Seamus stared at him, aghast. "No, how could you – ?"

"Quiet, someone's coming!" Susan hissed.

Crabbe and Goyle walked into the Owlery a few moments later.

"You're coming with us," Goyle declared.

"Oh really?" Ernie asked, raising an eyebrow. "And why would we do that?"

"Because we caught you!" Crabbe said.

Seamus gave him a dry look. "Caught us doin' what exactly?"

"Ha…Having a, um, a secret club," Goyle said, although he had lost his look of conviction.

"I wasn't aware we had a secret owl club," Dean said mockingly. "Were you, Shay?"

"Nope. Sounds boring, though, I probably wouldn't sign up," Seamus replied.

Crabbe and Goyle made low growling noises as they took a threatening step toward the Gryffindor boys. Dean and Seamus straightened up challengingly, Ernie and Susan moving to stand behind them in case they needed back-up.

Just then Malfoy appeared in the doorway, glaring at them as he walked in.

"What's going on here?" he asked sneeringly.

"Just the secret owl club, Malfoy," Seamus said brightly, but his eyes were narrowed. "Want to join?"

Malfoy glowered at him, then turned around to walk out. Crabbe and Goyle didn't follow, apparently still set on beating Dean and Seamus up.

"Crabbe, Goyle! Leave them," Malfoy said. "We can't prove they did anything and besides – I already caught Potter."

Crabbe and Goyle exchanged dumb grins and then went with Malfoy, laughing as they left. Dean, Seamus, Ernie, and Susan all gave each other glum yet relieved looks before they left for their dormitories.

"Shay – " Dean started.

"How could ye think that I'd tell, Dean?" Seamus asked sadly. He wouldn't meet Dean's eyes.

"I don't think – I didn't mean – I just – "

Seamus shook his head. "Save it, Dean."


	43. Trust

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**43. Trust**

"Did ye see Marietta?" Seamus asked the next morning at breakfast, his voice bitter.

Dean felt guilt flood his body. "Yeah, I did. Shay, I – "

"I told ye I wasn't a squealer, Dean," Seamus said quietly. "I said I wasn't going to tell, and I didn't. Ye're me best friend, Dean, and ye're supposed to trust me. How could ye not trust me?"

"No, I – "

But Seamus got up from the table, striding quickly away from him. Dean stared after him and Seamus made sure to keep his back to Dean so Dean wouldn't see the tears that had welled in his eyes.

"I was just making sure," Dean mumbled to himself, staring down at his suddenly unappetizing plate of eggs.


	44. Future

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**44. Future**

Dean found Seamus sitting moodily by himself in a corner of the common room and marched right up to him. Seamus saw him coming and started to get up to leave when Dean said,

"Wherever you go, I'll follow, so you'd better just sit and listen to me."

Seamus glared and then looked away, folding his arms stubbornly across his chest. Dean grabbed his chin, forcing Seamus to look him in the eyes, not caring about the strange looks they were receiving.

"When I asked if you told, I wasn't accusing you," Dean told him, his voice firm. "I was making sure you didn't, verifying something that was already a fact in my mind. Understand?"

Something shifted in Seamus' eyes and he nodded slightly. Dean let him go and Seamus looked away again. He stood there awkwardly, people still staring at them, and twiddled his thumbs a bit.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked, gesturing to the spot next to Seamus.

Seamus shrugged indifferently. "Go ahead."

Dean sat and there was another awkward pause. "How'd your career consultation go?" he asked.

Seamus shrugged again.

"Muggle police have people called sketch artists," Dean said. "They ask victims for descriptions of the suspect and draw pictures of them so people can have an idea of who to look out for. I was thinking maybe the Aurors could use someone like that, but I don't know."

Seamus was silent. After a few minutes Dean was about ready to give up and go to bed.

"Ye haven't been drawin' recently," Seamus said quietly, just as Dean was about to leave.

Dean blinked. It was true, he realized. He hadn't thought about it much.

"Guess there hasn't been anything I've wanted to draw," he replied. "I also haven't had much time."

Seamus cast him a sideways glance. "Ye could always try drawin' me naked on a hippogriff."

Dean laughed, remembering that conversation from third year. "I told you, mate, that's never happening."

"Ah, well, a bloke could hope." Seamus grinned. "I asked McGonagall if she thought the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes would be a good fit for me. She didn't seem to think so. Ye should've seen her face!"

"You'd be responsible for half the cases!" Dean exclaimed.

Seamus laughed for a bit, but then his face fell slightly. "I don't really know what I wanna do, Dean. The future's a big blur for me."

Dean nudged him with his shoulder. "Don't worry, mate. You'll figure it out."

Seamus smiled. "I hope ye can be a…a sketchy person for the Aurors, Dean."

"Sketch artist," Dean corrected. "Thanks, Shay."

"'Course."


	45. Snogging

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**45. Snogging**

_They're over_, Dean thought with relief. _They're finally over_.

He'd just gone to the bathroom after getting out of his final O.W.L. exam – Astronomy. He'd also just seen Umbridge and some Aurors attacking Hagrid, forcing him to flee to the Forbidden Forest. It was midnight and Dean was dead tired. He was heading up to the seventh floor to get to the Fat Lady's portrait when he saw a sight that made him sick to his stomach.

It was a pair of students snogging, a Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw by the looks of it – and Dean realized with a jolt that the Gryffindor was Seamus. He had one hand knotted in the girl's hair and the other was clasping her bum. The girl had her leg hitched up around Seamus' hip and the top few buttons of her shirt were undone. The noises that they made as they snogged were making Dean blush, and he really wasn't sure what he should do. Should he interrupt them, should he keep walking, should he turn around and walk away like he hadn't seen anything? The latter of the three sounded most appealing, but just as he turned to walk away, they pulled away with a loud _smack!_

"Oh, hey Dean!" Seamus said joyfully.

Dean froze, heart sinking. Now he _really_ felt awkward. Slowly he turned to face them. Even though they'd separated their lips, Seamus and the girl stood in the same position. She didn't even look ashamed, just kept glancing hungrily at Seamus and distastefully at Dean.

"Hey Shay," Dean said, rubbing the back of his head. "Um, we should really get back to the common room, but if you want to keep, er, doing what you're doing, I could cover for you."

Seamus rolled his eyes. "Nah, ye're right. See ye later, Lisa." He swiftly kissed Lisa one more time before letting go of her and walking away with Dean.

"Aren't you going to walk me back to my common room?" Lisa asked, annoyance prominent in her tone of voice.

Seamus stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. "Why would I do that? Ye can find yer own way, can't ye? I hope ye can, anyway. Ye've been livin' there for five years now, after all."

Lisa let out an angry growl and stalked away from them. Seamus looked up at Dean with a confused look on his face, then shrugged as they kept walking.

"I think you made her mad," Dean said.

"Ah well, I didn't much like her anyway," Seamus replied.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "But you were just snogging her!"

"Yeah, but we were both just excited to have the exams over with," he explained. "High emotions and all, y'know, but I wasn't actually interested in her. Mind ye, she was a good snogger."

Dean shook his head. "You're deplorable."

"But ye love me anyway," Seamus said brightly.

"Sure."


	46. Stupid

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**46. Stupid**

Dean was walking back from the Owlery when he heard a strange noise. It sounded like crying. Or, more specifically, a girl crying. He turned the corner to follow the sound and found Ginny sitting on the floor, half hidden by a suit of armor.

"Ginny?" he asked as he cautiously approached her. "Are you okay?"

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "What do you think?" she snapped.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "Everything."

He raised an eyebrow as he sat down next to her. "That makes no sense."

She laughed without amusement. "Yeah, well, I started out crying about one thing. But once I start crying about _one_ thing – "

"You start crying about everything," he finished.

She stared at him curiously.

"I have three sisters," he said with a shrug. "I know a little something about how girls work."

She laughed a bit. "I see."

He smiled. "So…do you want to talk about whatever it was that you started crying about?"

"No, it's stupid," she said, pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Ginny, if it made you that upset, then it's not stupid," he protested, putting a hand on her knee.

She turned to him, eyes wide, and he quickly removed his hand. She grabbed his hand, surprising him, and squeezed it. He squeezed it back, and then she suddenly leaned forward and kissed him. It was short and brief, and she looked embarrassed when she pulled back.

"Sorry," she mumbled, letting go of his hand. "That was stupid."

The unbidden memory of seeing Seamus and Lisa Turpin snogging in the corridor came back to him suddenly, but he pushed it aside.

"No it wasn't," he said softly.

She stared at him, unsure, and they both leaned forward until their lips met again. Dean started to compare the kiss to the one he'd shared with Seamus after the World Cup. This kiss was much less messy; their teeth didn't clack and Dean didn't feel foggy or dizzy. It also didn't feel as feverish and desperate.

Ginny pulled away from him and smiled sheepishly. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

Dean blinked. Did he want to be her boyfriend? Sure, he'd just been kissing her, and he'd always thought well of her, but did he want to date her?

"Okay," he said. "That sounds nice." And it did.

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him again.

After a bit more snogging, they headed back to the tower and parted ways in the common room. Dean went upstairs with a wide smile on his face that he couldn't seem to get rid of. He pushed open the door to the dormitories.

"Hey Shay – " he started.

"Dean!" Seamus exclaimed, looking up. "Ye won't believe what Lisa Turpin did!"

"What did Lisa Turpin do?" he asked, rolling his eyes as he went over to his bed. He'd tell Seamus about Ginny later.

"Well, first she told her friends that I was a shit snogger, which I'm not, and…"

Dean listened idly as he thought about what Ginny would say about him to her friends.


	47. Happening

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**47. Happening**

"It's really happenin', isn't it?" Seamus asked, looking up from the _Prophet_ at Dean, who had been reading over his shoulder.

"I guess so," Dean said, his face dark with worry.

Seamus became concerned, nudging Dean. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"D'you…" He took a breath. "D'you think your mum will let you come back next year?"

Seamus grinned. "I didn't know ye cared so much, Dean!"

Dean glared playfully. "I need you around, Shay. Dunno what I'd do without you," he mumbled

"Well, the only reason she didn't want me to come back this year was 'cause she thought Dumbledore and Harry were nutters," Seamus said. "Now that Ye-Know-Who is back, Hogwarts if probably the safest place for us."

Dean nodded. "That makes sense. So I – "

"Dean!"

He turned at the sound of his name and saw Ginny walking over to them. She wrapped her arms around Dean's waist in a hug and quickly kissed him.

"I'm going to the hospital wing to check on Hermione and the others," she told him.

"Sounds good," he replied, kissing her once more before she went off.

Seamus stared at them, not bothering to hide his disgusted expression.

"What was that?!" he asked, bewildered.

Dean rubbed the back of his head. "Oh, well, Ginny and me are…well we're going out now."

"Since when?!"

"Since yesterday," he replied sheepishly. "I forgot to tell you, I guess."

Seamus pursed his lips as he processed this new information. Something twisted in his gut, giving him an awful, nauseous feeling that he didn't like. He also didn't like the idea of Dean and Ginny dating. They were too different and they didn't know each other that well. Dean needed someone who knew him really well and would be able to tell when something was wrong since Dean often kept his feelings to himself.

But he didn't say any of this. Instead, he cleared his throat painfully and said, "Well, good on ye, mate. 'M happy for ye."

Dean smiled a bit. "Thanks, Shay."

Seamus nodded. "'Course," he said a tad bit reluctantly, but Dean didn't notice.


	48. Fun

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**48. Fun**

"Aaaaaaaargh!"

Dean and Seamus both woke with a start at the yell and the flash of light. Neville fell out of his bed. They looked around and saw Ron hanging upside down by his ankle, although they couldn't see whatever it was that was holding him up.

"What's going – "

"Bein' attacked – ?"

"What hap – "

"Sorry!" Harry exclaimed as he began rifling through a book on his lap.

Dean and Seamus looked at each other with grins and then promptly burst into laughter as Neville got up off the floor, rubbing his arm where he must've hit it. Ron's face was twisted in annoyance as it slowly turned red from all the blood rushing to his head.

Suddenly there was another flash of light and Ron was back on his bed. Dean and Seamus kept laughing as Harry apologized again.

"Tomorrow, I'd rather you set the alarm clock," Ron muttered.

Deciding that it was not worth it to try going back to sleep, the boys all got up and got ready for the day.

"Well," Seamus said to Dean with a grin as he pulled on his pants, "that's a fun way to start the morning."


	49. Alone

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**49. Alone**

"We goin' to Honeydukes first?" Seamus asked as he pulled some of his money out of his trunk.

A look of guilt flashed across Dean's face. "Oh, um, actually I told Ginny I'd spend the day with her."

Seamus paused, surprised. He felt a little offended, but told himself that it was ridiculous to be offended. Ginny was Dean's girlfriend, of course he should go to Hogsmeade with her.

"…every Hogsmeade together, so I thought it'd be okay if this time – " Dean was saying as Seamus tuned back in.

"Yeah, it's fine," Seamus said, although his voice sounded funny to him. "I understand."

Dean smiled gratefully. "Thanks Shay," he said, then glanced at his watch. "Oh, I gotta go! See you later!"

Seamus was left in the dormitory, wondering what to do now.

He could find another friend to go with, but he really didn't have any friends aside from Dean. He got on with people well enough, but they weren't friends. He didn't know Fay and Ginger all too well, and Lavender and Parvati got on his nerves with their constant giggling if he was around them for very long. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were always off doing who knew what together. He'd just feel awkward if he tried to join them. Neville didn't like Hogsmeade very much, and he usually spent the time in the greenhouses as opposed to going down to the village. Seamus figured he could go down by himself, but he felt like that was pathetic, and then he decided that he really didn't want any Honeydukes candy after all.

So he sat on his bed and stared out the window, feeling – for the first time – very much alone.


	50. Jealous

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**50. Jealous**

Dean entered the common room and quickly found Seamus seated in front of the fireplace with his Charms book in his lap. Dean went over to him and sat down.

"You won't believe what just happened," he said.

Seamus made a noise to show that he'd heard Dean but didn't look up. from his textbook

"I was just snogging with Ginny – " Seamus slightly tore the page he'd been turning. " – when Ron and Harry walked in on us. I think she's having a row with Ron right now."

"Cool," Seamus muttered as he repaired the page he'd ripped and kept reading.

Dean frowned. "Are you mad at me because I made Chaser to replace Katie?"

"No, I'm – "

"You are!" Dean exclaimed, getting to his feet. "Y'know, Shay, out of everyone I expected at least you to support me."

Seamus looked up at him. "Dean – "

"You're jealous that I'm a better flyer than you and that I have a girlfriend," Dean snapped. "Aren't you?"

"Why would I be jealous about Ginny?" Seamus asked defensively. "Oh, ye landed yeself a nice, vapid redhead. Good on ye mate," he said sarcastically.

"Don't talk about her like that," Dean growled.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Their fight was attracting some stares, but not because of the yelling. People yelled at each other in the common room all the time. What people were surprised about was the fact that it was _Dean and Seamus_ yelling at each other: the inseparable duo, the tiresome twosome, the two halves of a whole.

"I don't even know who you are anymore, Shay," Dean said darkly before retreating to the boys' staircase.

"Well maybe if ye actually spent some time with me ye'd know!" Seamus called angrily over his shoulder before burying his face in his textbook. He'd gotten the last word, but instead of feeling triumphant, he just felt awful.


	51. Apology

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**51. Apology**

The Gryffindor common room was roaring with celebration. The fireplace crackled and the Gryffindors all chatted loudly together about the success of that day's Quidditch match. Everybody was enjoying themselves except, it seemed, Dean, Seamus, and Hermione.

Seamus saw his friend standing alone at the edge of the group. He was surprised that Ginny wasn't at Dean's side and he looked around for the Weasley girl. He found her talking to Harry and took the opportunity to approach Dean.

"What do you want?" Dean asked meanly when Seamus reached him.

"I, er…I wanted to apologize," Seamus mumbled, not meeting his eyes. "Ye were great out there, Dean, and ye definitely deserve to be on the team."

Dean nodded stiffly. "And?" he prompted.

"And…" Seamus fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "And I shouldn't've said that stuff about Ginny."

"Apology accepted."

Seamus looked up at him, eyes wide. "Really?"

Dean grinned. "Yeah, mate, I've missed you."

Seamus ducked his head to hide his smile and nodded.

"Did you see Ron and Lavender?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

Seamus wrinkled his nose. "Yeah. Disgusting."

"Poor Hermione."

Seamus was about to say something else when Ginny arrived with two butterbeers. She looked at Seamus in surprise, clearly not expecting the two boys to be talking to each other since they'd just been fighting.

"Oh, sorry Seamus, do you want me to grab you one?" she asked as she handed one of the butterbeers to Dean.

Seamus shook his head irritably, mad that she'd interrupted them. "No, it's fine, I'll just get one meself."

He walked away without another word to Dean or Ginny. Dean watched him go with a sad expression, but Ginny just shrugged it off and started chatting to Dean.

_Yeah. Poor Hermione_, Seamus thought to himself glumly.


	52. Defined

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**52. Defined**

Seamus was laying back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling in boredom. He was going to die of boredom. Dean was off somewhere with Ginny and the rest of his dormmates were doing Godric knew what. He sat up and got off his bed, going over to Dean's bedside table. He pulled open the drawer that Dean kept all his sketchpads in and retrieved the one that had Dean's drawings of Seamus in it.

He pulled open the cover and flipped a few pages till he found the first one, depicting him sitting cross-legged and blurry. The next showed him studying, bent studiously over a textbook with ink on his forehead and his quill on fire. The third drawing was only of his face, looking off into the middle distance with a concerned expression. In all of the drawings, Seamus' edges were blurry. Seamus had never asked Dean why that was, but he didn't mind; he thought it looked cool.

Seamus flipped through the rest of the drawings and slowly started to feel better. Even if Dean was going to Hogsmeade with Ginny, at least he was still –

He stopped, cold with dread, as he flipped past an unfinished sketch of himself to see a completed picture of Ginny. She stood in a coat and scarf in the middle of the snow. Her dark red hair contrasted greatly against the white background and her edges were very much defined.

It was a beautiful picture.

Seamus hated it.

He slammed the sketchbook shut and threw it carelessly back into the drawer. He tossed himself back onto his bed and stared angrily up at the ceiling until Dean returned.

"Hey Shay," he greeted, setting his schoolbag on the floor next to his bed.

Seamus simply grunted in response.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "How are you?"

"Peachy," Seamus snapped.

He frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothin's wrong," Seamus replied, getting up off the bed. "How's the girlfriend?"

Seamus had recently taken to refusing to say Ginny's name, just calling her "the girlfriend." It annoyed Dean, but he let it slide so as to avoid getting in another fight with Seamus.

"She's – " Dean started, but Seamus had left the room.


	53. Wrong

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**53. Wrong**

Seamus groaned and folded his letter.

"Christmas with Fergus?" Dean asked.

Seamus nodded and shoveled sausages into his mouth.

"You could always spend Christmas with me again," Dean suggested. "Michelle's been wanting to see you. She keeps asking me where my funny friend Shame is."

Dean waited for Seamus to laugh at Michelle's name for him, but he didn't. He just kept eating. Dean frowned and Seamus spoke after swallowing a particularly big bite.

"Not spendin' Christmas with the girlfriend?" Seamus asked.

"No, she'll be with her family for Christmas," he said, blinking in surprise. "So how about it? You'd get more of my mum's cooking."

"No thanks," Seamus said. "I think me mam wants me home this year, anyway, with Ye-Know-Who back and all."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked. "My mum could talk to her – "

"See ye later, Dean," Seamus interrupted, rising from the table and exiting the Great Hall, leaving Dean confused and wondering what he could've done wrong to make Seamus rather spend Christmas with his awful cousin Fergus than with him.


	54. Baboon

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**54. Baboon**

When they came back from winter holidays, hearing the news of Apparition lessons approaching had Seamus in a much more agreeable mood than he'd been in before the holidays.

They were in Charms when Seamus was telling them about how Fergus always popped in everywhere to scare him, and about how he couldn't wait until he could enact his revenge. He waved his wand a tad too passionately as he talked, and instead of a nice fountain of water, his wand shot out a vicious jet of water that hit Professor Flitwick.

"Hey, at least you didn't explode anything this time," Dean whispered teasingly in Seamus' ear.

Seamus pursed his lips and shoved Dean playfully with his shoulder as Flitwick dried himself off and approached them.

"Lines, Mr. Finnigan," Flitwick told him in a squeaky voice.

Seamus sighed. "What do I write this time?" he asked tiredly.

"Hm…how about, _I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick._"

Dean guffawed and Seamus swatted at him.

Later that evening when Seamus returned to the common room, Dean saw him and declared loudly, "There's my baboon!"

Seamus blushed as everyone in the room turned to give them strange looks. Ginny narrowed her eyes suspiciously and glared up at Dean, who looked apologetically back at her.

"Your _what?_" Seamus heard Ginny hiss as he passed, causing him to smile wider than ever as he ascended the staircase.


	55. Attention

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**55. Attention**

"Dean, will you pay attention?!" Ginny exclaimed.

He looked up from the doodle of the Giant Squid he'd been drawing. "I _am_ listening."

"No you're not, you're drawing," she replied.

"I'm listening _and_ drawing," he countered, pressing his quill back down to the parchment. "It's called multitasking."

"Well you may be listening, but you're not participating!" Ginny said. "It's always me talking and you never say anything. You're always just drawing and I don't like it."

"Seamus lets me draw when he talks," Dean blurted before he could stop himself.

Something dangerous flashed in Ginny's eyes and Dean instantly regretted his words.

It was true, though. Many of his and Seamus' conversations were one-sided, with Seamus talking and talking and talking while Dean drew and listened. Seamus knew that Dean wasn't a big conversationalist, but that worked out because Seamus talked to himself all the time anyway. With Dean, at least, he had an appreciative audience.

"Do I look like Seamus to you?" she asked, her voice low.

Dean had to save himself, so he made a joke to play it off. "Nah, far too pretty. And nothing near you is on fire."

She smiled tightly and went on with her rant about Snape, pausing to glare at him when he'd picked up his drawing quill again. He put it down with a resigned sigh and put his hand in his chin, listening with a bored expression on his face.

Later that evening, Seamus was ranting to him in their dormitory about McGonagall being too tough on them when Dean interrupted.

"Hey Shay?" Dean asked, looking up from his Giant Squid drawing.

Seamus froze, his hands up in the air. "What?"

"You…You don't mind that I draw while you talk, do you?" Dean asked, twiddling his quill nervously in his hand.

Seamus shook his head. "It'd be weird if ye didn't. 'Sides, I know ye're listenin'. Anyway…"

Dean smiled and went back to drawing and listening as Seamus went back to talking.


	56. Different

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**56. Different**

"Why'd you laugh at Harry?" Ginny asked angrily.

Dean frowned. "Well it looked pretty funny. I tend to laugh at things that I find funny, Ginny."

"Harry could've been seriously injured!" she yelled. "It was a really bad hit, it was a good thing Peakes and Coote caught him, otherwise it might've been worse."

"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad," Dean replied. "Besides, Harry's had worse injuries than that."

"That doesn't give you the right to laugh at him," Ginny snapped.

Dean pursed his lips as something nagged at the back of his mind. "Why are you so concerned about him, anyway?"

She gaped at him. "Because he's my brother's best friend and our Captain, in case you've forgotten!"

Dean made a noise of derision as if he didn't believe her reasons.

"If it was _Seamus_ that'd gotten hit, you'd be at his bedside in an instant," Ginny said as she rounded on him. "And if I'd laughed at him, saying it looked pretty funny, wouldn't you be mad at me?"

"Well – well that's…that's different!" Dean returned. "Seamus is _my best friend_, not my _brother's_ best friend!"

Ginny shook her head. "Whatever, Dean. I'll see you later. I'm going to go make sure Harry's going to be alright. You can come with if you think you can hold back your laughter since this is all so _funny_ to you," she said viciously as she turned away and headed toward the hospital wing.

Dean knew that he should've gone after her, that he shouldn't let her walk away angry with him, but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. Instead, he headed back to Gryffindor Tower, stomping the entire way there.

"What's got yer goat?" Seamus asked as Dean entered the dormitory with a cloud of anger surrounding him.

"Had a fight with Ginny," he replied, throwing himself down on his bed.

"Oh." Seamus blinked with surprise. "Oh, well, sorry about that mate," he said, even though he didn't really feel sorry at all. Actually, he felt a little giddy.


	57. Done

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**57. Done**

Dean and Ginny walked up the stairs to the portrait of the Fat Lady. They'd just had a pleasant, although platonic, evening down by the lake and were returning to the common room. Things had become sort of strained between them since their fight about Harry. Dean didn't really feel like he wanted to be with Ginny anymore, but at the same time he didn't want to break up with her. He genuinely liked her company and he thought she was a brilliant person, but there was just something lacking in the relationship now.

_"__Are ye sure ye're not in a relationship just so ye can be in a relationship?"_ Seamus had asked him when he confessed these feelings to his best friend a couple days ago.

He hadn't responded. Was he really still with Ginny just because he didn't want to be alone again? It was nice having a girlfriend, having someone to snog with in the spare moments between classes and spend intimate moments with, but most of that had faded away by now.

"_Don't_ push me, please, Dean," Ginny said tersely, breaking Dean out of his thoughts. "You're always doing that, I can get though perfectly well on my own, thank you very much."

Dean frowned. Although it was true that he used to put a hand on her back whenever they went through the portrait hole (a habit that he'd formed with Seamus), but he'd managed to break the habit whenever he was with her. He hadn't touched her this time, so why was she mad at him?

"I didn't push you," he said in annoyance.

Ginny scoffed. "Sure."

"Anyway, I don't see what the problem is with it," Dean continued. He knew he should've just let it go, but he couldn't.

"It's annoying!" she declared.

"I'm just, I dunno, looking out for you," he said. "Isn't that what boyfriends are supposed to do?"

"I can take care of myself!"

"Then what am I here for?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

She replied coldly, "I don't know."

Ginny spun around on her heel and went to go up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. He knew that if he let her go blow off some steam then they'd probably be fine by tomorrow morning, but he didn't want them to be fine. He was sick of her nagging and her passive aggressive behavior.

So he said the one thing he shouldn't have.

"Seamus lets me help him through the portrait hole," he said quietly.

She turned around quickly, her hair flying in her face. She resembled something like an angry harpy.

"Well why don't you go ahead and date your precious_ Seamus_, then?" she growled.

"Maybe I will!" he shouted, blushing as soon as the words left his mouth.

Her face flamed up with anger. "_Good!_"

"So that's it then?" he asked angrily.

"Yeah, Dean, that's it," she snapped, then went up the girls' staircase.

Dean turned, ignoring all the whispers that had erupted as soon as Ginny was gone, and went up to his own dormitory and found it empty, which he was glad for. He really didn't want to deal with anybody right now. About an hour later, once evening had fallen, Seamus burst into the dormitory.

"I…I just heard," he panted, making his way over to Dean's bed. "What happened?"

"Ginny and I are done," he replied dispassionately.

"Sorry mate."

Seamus bent over his trunk with the apparent purpose of pulling out his pajamas, but really he was hiding his smile.

"It's fine," Dean said with a shrug and got off his bed. "It's been a long time coming, I suppose."

They changed in silence and then they both sat down on Dean's bed. Dean picked at the drawstrings of his pants.

"Why'd ye break up?" Seamus asked.

"She didn't like me helping her through the portrait hole," Dean said, and at Seamus' strange look he added, "Among other things."

"Helping her through?" Seamus asked, then added quietly, "Like ye do with me?"

Dean nodded. "She didn't like it. She didn't like a lot of things I do."

"Well I like it," Seamus said nonchalantly, despite the faint blush on his cheeks. "It's…I dunno, I just like knowing you're there, or something."

Dean smiled a bit and nodded again.

"Are you sad it's over?"

"Like I said, it's been a long time coming," Dean answered, "but I do wish it had gone better, a little nicer. She's a good person, and I hope we can be friends, but we just…"

"Weren't fitting right," Seamus finished.

Dean looked up at him, a weird expression on his face. "Yeah."

"Well _I_ could've told ye that much," Seamus said crossly. "Ye don't need someone like her, Dean."

"Then who do I need?" Dean asked quietly, not meeting his eyes.

"Ye need someone who likes those little things ye do, first of all," Seamus mumbled. "And ye need someone who understands yer silence. And someone who…"

Seamus trailed off as Dean's eyes raised to meet his.

"Someone who?" he prompted.

They stared at each other for a bit, and then Seamus cleared his throat.

"Ye get the point," he said evasively, moving to get off Dean's bed. "Well, I'm beat. See you in the – "

He stopped and looked down at where Dean had grabbed his wrist, and then looked back up at Dean. Dean was biting his lip with an embarrassed expression and tugged once more on Seamus' wrist, silently asking Seamus to stay with him. Seamus blushed and nodded dumbly.

Together they drew the curtains closed and crawled underneath the covers. Finding a comfortable position for both of them turned out to be harder than it used to as they hadn't shared a bed since third year.

"We're gettin' too big for this," Seamus whispered. "At least you are. I haven't grown since fourth year."

Dean laughed and snaked an arm around Seamus' waist in what he hoped was a casual manner. He rationalized that he wanted to make sure Seamus wouldn't fall out of the bed, but he also had some secret desire to hold the Irishman close to him. Seamus tentatively laid his head down on Dean's chest, resting his hand on Dean's stomach.

"I'm sorry about Ginny, mate," Seamus told him after a few moments of silence.

Dean shrugged. "I'll be fine. I'll miss the snogging, though, that bit was fun."

They laughed together, and Seamus liked feeling Dean's voice rumbling in his chest.

"If it's a snog ye need, there's always me!" Seamus joked lightly, but his voice sounded funny and not as nonchalant as he'd have liked.

Dean smiled and teased back, "Thanks, Shay, I might take you up on that."

"'Course," Seamus replied automatically, despite the blush that spread hot and fast across his cheeks.

Seamus curled closer to Dean and wondered why the idea of snogging Dean (_Again_, a voice whispered in his mind) excited him so much. He wondered why he was so happy that Dean and Ginny had broken up, and he also wondered why he and Dean pretended like it was normal for two friends to share a bed together and joke about snogging.

Dean, on the other hand, was wondering why he had the urge to stay in bed with Seamus forever and never let him go. But as soon as he started to wonder, he realized that he might already know the answer.

* * *

This was another one of my favorite chapters to write =)


	58. Glass

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**58. Glass**

As soon as Harry and Ginny left the common room, everybody started talking loudly again, except this time the new couple was the topic of conversation as opposed to winning the Quidditch Cup. Seamus tried to drag Dean to the hospital wing to get his hand healed (Dean had smashed his glass of butterbeer in his hand when he saw Harry and Ginny kissing, and it was quite cut), but Dean refused to go on the grounds that he didn't want to risk running into Harry and Ginny in the corridor. Seamus eventually gave in, but he did have Hermione perform a quick healing spell on Dean's hand, which fixed it up well enough.

"Are you okay?" Seamus asked him.

They'd gone up to the dormitory to escape the common room, namely all the people staring at Dean and whispering about him. They were sitting on Dean's bed now.

Dean shrugged half-heartedly, but Seamus could tell it was bothering him. Dean hadn't been having very much luck the past couple of days. First his and Ginny's breakup was fairly nasty, then he'd been kicked off the Quidditch team since Katie was all better, and now he just had to witness his ex-girlfriend of only a few days snogging one of his good friends.

"'M fine, Shay," Dean finally answered. "They were bound to get together eventually, everyone knew it." He sighed and looked guiltily at Seamus. "I…I actually just want to be alone for a bit, if that's alright."

Seamus nodded understandingly and got off the bed, squeezing Dean's shoulder. "It's fine. I'll be right downstairs if ye need me."

Dean smiled. "Thanks, Shay."

"'Course." Seamus returned his smile and returned to the common room, where Hermione marched right up to him.

"You should just tell him, you know," she said smartly.

"Tell who what?" he asked defensively.

She glanced around then whispered, "Tell Dean how you feel."

Seamus jumped away from her, blushing madly. "I-I don't know what ye're talkin' about!" he exclaimed. "I'm…I'm not – I don't – "

"Oh please," she said with a roll of her eyes. "I've been watching you two dance around each other for six years now."

Seamus pursed his lips. Did he have feelings for Dean? He definitely cared more about Dean than anybody else in the world, except maybe his mam. But Dean was also his best friend, and he wasn't gay. Then again, Seamus didn't think he himself was gay either, but apparently he was.

"I'll tell _him_ when _ye_ tell Ron," he countered.

Hermione gaped. "Well, that's – that's completely different! We're not – it's not like that!" she exclaimed, but Seamus could tell by the blush in her cheeks that it was absolutely like that.


	59. Dumbledore

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**59. Dumbledore**

Seamus was wrestling hard with what Hermione had said to him at the party. How was he supposed to bring it up with Dean? How was he supposed to ask about something like that? He couldn't just walk up to Dean and say, "Hey, mate, so I think I have homosexual feelin's for ye, do you possibly have homosexual feelin's for me, too?"

No.

So he just carried on like normal and ignored the significant looks that Hermione gave him in passing.

Eventually, he decided that he was just going to have to do it. He was just going to have to say it, but when? Tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow was always a good day. Why do something today when you could do it tomorrow? That was his motto.

Seamus laid awake in his bed thinking about how he was going to say it when he glanced at his watch. 12:04. It was technically tomorrow, he told himself, and he was just going to have to do it.

"Hey Dean?" he whispered, sticking his head through his curtains to face Dean's bed.

Dean made a sleepy nose and Seamus heard him roll over. Seamus shook his head and laid back down. He'd just tell Dean in the morning, or tomorrow, or sometime, or maybe never. And then he fell asleep.

Someone was screaming.

Dean and Seamus woke up and found their dormitory empty save for the two of them. They flew out of bed and down into the common room, where one of the fifth year prefects was trying to get everybody to stay in the tower. When he tried to stop Dean and Seamus they told him to protect the younger students, and then they set off into the castle, their wands drawn.

"Shay, what's happening?" Dean asked him quietly.

They could hear screaming and crying as they made their way down the stairs.

"Dunno, but it can't be good," Seamus replied.

As they went downstairs they passed groups of frightened, crying students, but none that they knew. They got to the Great Hall and saw blood smeared on some of the flagstones and saw that the front doors of the school were blown wide open. A knot formed in Seamus' stomach. They found Ernie and Hannah sitting against a wall. Hannah was crying and Ernie had his arm around her.

"What's happened?" Seamus asked.

"Death Eaters," Ernie replied, eliciting another wail from Hannah. "They…they got into the school somehow, I dunno. And there's a-a…a Dark Mark…above the Astronomy Tower."

Dean turned to Seamus. "You don't think – ?"

"I hope not," Seamus said. "Where are Harry and the others?"

"Harry tore past here five minutes ago," Ernie told them. "Chasing the Death Eaters, I think."

Dean and Seamus looked at each other and nodded. They thanked Ernie and walked out of the castle. Ernie and Hannah followed them, as did many other students that had come downstairs to investigate the commotion. They made their way down the grass to the foot of the Astronomy Tower and saw a figure lying in a haphazard position there.

"Dean…Dean, somebody fell!" Seamus said urgently. "Somebody – " He started to run forward, but Dean grabbed his arm and shook his head, an awful feeling creeping over him.

"Shay, I don't…I don't want to," he whispered, stopping firmly in place. His face was filled with fear and discomfort.

The crowd that had followed them stopped behind them, whispering amongst each other. It was clear that none of them were feeling brave enough to continue without being led. Fear crept into their whispers as they caught sight of the twisted figure on the ground.

Seamus gripped Dean's arm and led him forward, Dean stiffly complying. As they got closer, the body became recognizable, and they all stopped short.

"Dean, it's…it's – "

"Dumbledore," Dean finished brokenly.

A cold panic filled them as they swayed dizzily on their feet. Dumbledore – _dead?!_ It couldn't be. It was some cruel trick, some prank he'd decided to play on them. There was no way Dumbledore could be dead. He was invincible. He was the only one the Dark Lord ever feared. Nothing could conquer Dumbledore.

But they knew that something _had_ conquered Dumbledore, and that he really was dead.

Seamus clutched Dean's arm and Dean grabbed at Seamus' shoulders and they held each other up as people began to howl their grief to the sky.


	60. Funeral

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**60. Funeral**

"I told ye, I'm_ not going home yet!_" Seamus shouted, drawing all the attention in the entrance hall to him and his mother.

"Be reasonable!" she snapped. "Yer Da and I would feel much better – "

"_NO!_" Seamus roared, his body trembling violently. "I'm stayin' fer the funeral, Mam, and there nothin' ye can do about it."

Mrs. Finnigan glanced nervously around, not liking all the stares they were getting.

"Fine, _fine_," she said vehemently. "But I'm stayin' too. I'll try to find a room in Hogsmeade, although that'll be difficult, it will. People are comin' from all over."

Seamus sagged with relief. "Thanks, Mam."

She kissed the top of his head and then left the entrance hall. Seamus made his way to the marble stairs where Dean stood waiting for him. They went back to the common room together. They didn't talk, but, then again, they didn't need to. Dean had his hand on Seamus' back the entire time they walked. Dean told himself it was to stop Seamus' quivering, but really Seamus had become his anchor in the wake of Dumbledore's death; he felt like he was drowning in the ocean unless he was touching Seamus in some way.

They all woke up early the next morning to pack and put on their dress robes in silence. Nobody talked much; the air was heavy with grief. After everybody stomached about as much breakfast as they could (which wasn't much), McGonagall got up and told them all to follow her. Despite the beautiful, summer day there were no birds singing and nobody felt like celebrating the sunshine.

Centaurs appeared in the tree line and merpeople stuck their heads out of the lake. A huge congregation of hundreds of witches and wizards had arrived. A small man spoke about Dumbledore, but Seamus and Dean weren't listening. They sat holding hands with their fingers interlaced and their heads bent together, crying silently. Mrs. Finnigan sat on Seamus' other side and patted his knee occasionally.

After the funeral, Seamus and Dean, still holding hands, departed from the crowd for a few moments of privacy. Mrs. Finnigan watched them from a polite distance as they disappeared behind a corner of the castle.

"Hogwarts might close, they're saying," Dean told him softly.

"What'll ye do if it does?" Seamus asked.

"I don't know," he replied. "Everything just became a whole lot more dangerous for me, Shay. You know that, right?"

Seamus nodded but refused to meet Dean's eyes, instead staring down at their joined hands.

"If things…if things go downhill, you might not hear from me for a while," Dean continued. "I might have to disappear to keep my family safe."

Seamus pursed his lips and squeezed Dean's hand. He didn't like hearing this, even though it was true. Dean was a Muggle-born, and Muggle-borns would be number one on You-Know-Who's hit list. He squeezed his eyes shut hard, as if he could push the pain away as long as he couldn't see it.

"Dean, I have to tell ye somethin'," Seamus said firmly, looking up at him with watery eyes. If there was anything he'd learned from Dumbledore's death, it was that tomorrows were never a guarantee. "I've been wantin' to tell ye for a while now, just didn't have the guts, but I need to tell ye now, before…before anythin'."

Dean stared at him with an expression that Seamus couldn't read. Seamus swallowed.

"Please don't hate me for this," he said desperately. "Dean…Dean, I – "

"No, don't!" Dean interrupted suddenly, eyes wide and scared.

Seamus stared at him in shock.

Dean put his hands on either side of Seamus' face, tilting his head up so Dean could look him deep in the eyes.

"I know, Shay, I know," he whispered, a fond expression on his face. "You think that after everything – after all that we've been through – that I don't…that I don't know or…or feel the same?" he asked sadly.

Seamus' eyes filled with tears.

"Just…don't say it out loud," Dean told him. "Not yet. Give me something to look forward to when all of this is over, okay?"

Seamus nodded as a couple tears spilled from his eyes and Dean let go of him, his hands falling limply to his sides.

"Me mam's waitin' fer me," Seamus mumbled numbly, taking a few shaky steps backwards. "I should go."

Dean nodded, his face twisted with sadness, and Seamus turned to go. Dean reached out and – in one fluid movement – grabbed Seamus' arm, spun him around, placed his hand on the back of Seamus' head, and crushed their lips together. Seamus responded furiously, pressing himself against Dean's body and gripping Dean's shoulders. He swiped his tongue against Dean's lower lip and gained access to his friend's mouth. Their tongues danced for a moment that felt like an eternity, and then broke apart and stumbled away from each other.

"Be safe, Shay," Dean told him after taking a deep breath.

"'Course, so long as ye come back to me," Seamus replied, his eyes dark.

Dean nodded painfully. "'Course."

Seamus walked away from Dean, his gait stilted as if every step he took away from the black man caused him physical agony, which it might as well have since it hurt just the same. His mother approached once she saw him come back around the corner and she wrapped her arm around his shoulders. Tears spilled from his eyes.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay," she told him as she steered him toward the school gates.

But he knew it was not okay.


	61. Soon

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**61. Soon**

Dean packed quickly and quietly. The Death Eaters had taken over the Ministry. Scrimgeour was dead. There was nothing left to do now but run, run before they came for him. He threw some clothes in a duffel and grabbed a sleeping bag. He sat down at his desk and took out some parchment to write one letter to his parents and another letter to Seamus. The latter one was much harder to write, mostly because he didn't know what to say.

_Mum and Dad,_

_I'm so sorry about this. Things have gone bad and I have to go on the run now. Just tell Michelle that I went to school early or something. I don't want her to worry. I don't want you to worry either, but I know you will no matter what._

_I'll try to be safe, but there's no telling what's going to happen now. This is the last you'll hear from me for a while, but please don't try to contact me. It'll be dangerous for you if you know anything. You should burn this letter after you read it, too._

_Have faith. I'll see you soon._

_-Dean_

_PS. Could you go to King's Cross and give Seamus' letter to him or one of our classmates? Thank you. I love you._

He folded his parents' letter and set it on his desk, then stuffed Seamus' into an envelope, addressed it to him, and put it next to his parents' letter. Then he turned out his bedroom light and went downstairs to get some food from the pantry.

"Deanie?"

_Shit_.

Dean stopped halfway down the stairs and turned to see Michelle standing at the top of the stairs rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm just…getting a midnight snack," he replied.

She gave him a look. "With a sleeping bag?"

"Um…" He didn't know what to say.

"Are you gonna go see Shame?" she asked.

Dean's stomach clenched at the mention of Seamus. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm gonna go see Seamus," he said.

"Do Mummy and Daddy know?"

He nodded again. "Yeah, I told them yesterday."

She ran down the stairs and threw her arms around his neck. "Come back soon."

Tears smarted in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his little sister and hugged her close. "I will," he whispered brokenly. "I will."


	62. Letter

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**62. Letter**

Seamus sat in a compartment with Neville, Luna, and Ginny. There wasn't much to talk about, so they sat in silence. Seamus stared grumpily out the window at the fast-passing landscape, Neville played with his D.A. coin in his pocket, Luna read a copy of the _Quibbler_ upside-down, and Ginny fiddled with her wand. Although he was glad for the company (he'd have been gladder for Dean's), he really just wanted to be alone so he could read the letter that was in his pocket, the letter that Neville had handed him when he got on the train, saying Dean's mom had given it to him. Seamus' name was written on the envelope in Dean's handwriting.

The feast at the school was dark and ominous, and even the food wasn't that great. Snape was headmaster now, and the deputies were a pair of twins, a boy and a girl, who had sinister looks about them. New changes involved Defense Against the Dark Arts become the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies being a required subject. Muggle-borns weren't allowed at the school. It was looking to be the worst year yet.

It was just him and Neville in their dorm this year. Neville didn't say anything when Seamus moved his things from his bed over to Dean's and laid down on it, pulling the curtains tight. He pulled out his letter and began to read it:

_Shay,_

_I'm on the run. I can't contact you until everything is safe, and please don't try to contact me. You should probably burn this letter after you read it, too._

_I'll be careful, Shay, I promise. Don't worry about me. Worry about you. Take care of yourself and please, please don't be reckless this year. Stay safe._

_I'm going to come back to you._

_-Dean_

Seamus danced his fingers lightly over Dean's neat handwriting, then folded the letter and stuck it in his pillowcase. There was no way he was going to burn that letter. It was the only thing he really had left of Dean, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let that go.


	63. Coin

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**63. Coin**

Seamus stumbled back up to the common room, his whole body aching. He'd refused to use the Cruciatus Curse on a couple of first years, and Professor Carrow wasn't very pleased with that, so he performed the Cruciatus Curse on Seamus instead.

He grunted as he pulled himself through the portrait hole, wishing Dean was there with his hand on his back, and went upstairs to his dormitory where he found Neville smiling – _smiling._

"What're ye so happy about?" Seamus asked grumpily.

"D'you still have your D.A. coin?" Neville asked, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.

Seamus shook his head. "No, never got one, remember? Why?" His eyes narrowed. "Are ye – "

"Yep," Neville said a hushed voice as he nodded enthusiastically. "We're starting back up."


	64. Company

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**64. Company**

Dean slipped into his sleeping bag and closed his eyes, wishing not for the first time that he was in his four poster bed in Hogwarts School, preferably with Seamus pressed into his side. He'd been travelling the countryside for months now, and he was regretting now more than ever that he hadn't learned to Apparate properly. He'd been having to hide out in forests and empty barns like the one he was in now.

Suddenly he heard a crack and some footsteps. Somebody had just Apparated into the barn. Dean drew his wand and sat up as quietly as he could. He prayed it wasn't the Snatchers; he'd run into them once before and only barely managed to escape.

The person stepped around the corner, saw Dean, and yelled "_Stupefy!_" at the same time Dean shouted "_Protego!_"

The man jumped away from his rebounded spell and Dean rose to his feet. They pointed their wands at each other, both lit at the tip.

"Are you a Death Eater?" Dean asked.

"Me?" the man asked. "Goodness, no!"

"Prove it," Dean said.

The man sighed. "My name is Ted Tonks and I'm a Muggle-born. Here, look at my arm, do you see any Dark Marks?"

Ted pulled back his sleeve to reveal tattoo-less skin.

"Now show me yours."

"I'm Dean Thomas," he said as he pulled up his sleeve to show Ted that he didn't have a Dark Mark.

"Nice to meet you, Dean." Ted sat down and conjured a fire in front of him. "You look a little on the young side to be a runaway. Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Should be seventh year at Hogwarts, but I think I'm a Muggle-born," Dean replied.

"Think?"

Dean nodded. "My biological dad ran out when I was a baby. My mum's a Muggle, though."

"Well, better to be safe than sorry," Ted said. "Although I don't know if being on the run can be counted as safe."

Dean laughed and Ted smiled at him.

"Seventh year, eh? You should know Harry Potter, then!"

"Yeah, I do," Dean replied. "He was my dormmate. You haven't heard anything about him recently, have you?"

"Only that he's on the run like us," Ted answered. "Hasn't been caught yet, at least. It'd be all over the news if he were. Maybe we'll run into him one day."

"We?" Dean asked.

Ted looked at him in surprise. "Well, that is, if you want to travel together. I always figure two heads are better than one, and a little company's always nice. How about it?"

Dean nodded and smiled. "Sounds great."


	65. Miserable

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**65. Miserable**

Seamus was grumpier than usual when he and Neville sneaked back into Gryffindor tower after painting D.A. slogans on the walls on the fourth floor.

"What's wrong, Shay?" Neville asked.

"Don't call me that," Seamus snapped.

"Sorry," Neville mumbled sheepishly.

Seamus flopped down onto Dean's old bed – which had become his new bed – and glared up at the ceiling.

"I just wish – " He broke off with a sigh. "I just wish we could do somethin' more useful than stupid D.A. graffiti is all."

"Like what?" Neville asked. "Seamus, you're already getting beat up every day by the Carrows. If you make them any angrier, you'll end up dead."

"It's just that Harry, Ron, and Hermione are out there on the run doing something important, but at least we know they're alive because it'd be all over the bloody news if they weren't," Seamus growled. "Meanwhile, Dean could be – " He stopped himself and rolled over on his side, putting his back to Neville.

"You're not the only one who misses him, you know," Neville said. "He was _my_ dormmate too."

"He may have been _yer_ dormmate, but he's _me best friend_," Seamus shouted, sitting up as he did so. "And I don't just miss him. 'M miserable without him," he finished quietly.

Neville stared at him for a moment, flabbergasted as a look of realization crossed his face. "You fancy him, don't you?"

Seamus gaped.

"I always wondered about you two, you know," Neville continued conspiratorially.

"Neville – "

"You guys were always awfully close – closer than Harry and Ron. Plus sharing a bed and all – "

"Neville, I _don't want to talk about it_," Seamus said tersely. "So shut up, will ye?"

"Alright, alright," Neville replied as he got into his bed. "But I'm right, aren't I?"

Seamus turned his back to Neville, causing the boy to smile in triumph.

"You'll see him again, Seamus, I promise," Neville said as he climbed into his bed.

Seamus pursed his lips. "Thanks, Nev."

"No problem. Now go to sleep."


	66. Promise

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**65. Promise**

"Why don't we just say his name?" Dean asked as they sat around the campfire one night. "Harry does, and Dumbledore did."

That day, Gornuk had nicked a copy of the _Prophet_. All it said was a bunch of propaganda about how You-Know-Who was undefeatable and that resistance was futile. Now they were discussing what they thought the future held, and what would happen if this war ever ended.

"Well Dumbledore's dead and your Potter friend is number one on the Most Wanted list," Dirk replied. "I don't think they're exactly good models for the times."

Dean had to assent to that. "But still, it's stupid to be scared of a name."

"I agree that it's stupid, but I heard that You-Know-Who's followers put a – "

"It's such a weird name, anyway," Dean continued without listening. "_Vol-de-mort_."

"NO!" Dirk shouted.

There were several cracks and suddenly they were surrounded by Snatchers. Dirk rose to his feet, his wand brandished, and was killed on the spot. Gornuk launched himself at a Snatcher and got his neck snapped. Ted yelled at Dean to go as he took on two Snatchers at once. Dean hesitated, but Ted yelled at him again, so he and Griphook took off running, only to be stopped by a horribly grisly man with matted gray hair and a vicious smile.

"And where do you think _you're_ going?" he asked.

Dean felt the dread and terror rise up within him. He was going to die. He was going to die and get tortured and he would never see his family again. He wouldn't see his parents or his sisters or his friends or Seamus ever again.

And it was all his fault.

_Sorry Shay_, he thought as the man loomed threateningly over him. _Guess I broke my promise._


	67. Radio

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**67. Radio**

"…believe that Muggle-born Dean Thomas – "

Seamus sat up, instantly alert. The Gryffindors turned to watch him with concern from where they all huddled around the radio they'd set up in the common room.

" – and a second goblin, both believed to have been traveling with Tonks, Cresswell, and Gornuk, may have escaped. If Dean is listening, or if anyone has any knowledge of his whereabouts, his parents and sisters are desperate for news. Meanwhile…"

Seamus stopped listening and put his head in his hands. He hadn't thought about Dean's family and how they much be missing him too. He thought about little Michelle, and how she idolized her brother. He wondered if her parents had told her everything yet, or if she just thought he was just at school again like every year.

"Seamus?"

He looked up to see that Lavender had walked over to him. He looked away and she put her arms around him in a comforting embrace.

"I know," she told him in a hushed voice.

"About what?" he asked in confusion.

She raised an eyebrow. "Dean."

Seamus gave a dry, humorless chuckle as he leaned into Lavender's arms. "Does everybody know me secret?"

"It's not exactly a secret. We've all been suspecting it for years," she replied matter-of-factly. "It's all going to be okay. You know that, right?"

Seamus shook his head. "'S a little hard to believe at the moment."

"Well it is. It's all going to be okay," she said, stroking his hair as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

"He doesn't even know if he's really Muggle-born," Seamus moaned. "If he just knew whether his dad was a wizard or not – " He sat up suddenly. "That's it!"

"That's what?" Lavender asked, looking at him in confusion, but he'd already gotten up and walked over to Neville.

"Neville, I need to use the Room of Requirement, and I need your help," Seamus said. "I need it to do _exactly_ what I want it to."

"Sure, Seamus, what do you need it for?" he asked in concern.

"I'm going to find Dean's dad."


	68. Fault

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**68. Fault**

"Good, isn't it?" Luna asked. "About Professor Lupin's baby?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, it's nice to hear about something good for a change."

It had been a few days since they'd all been rescued from the Malfoy Manor and taken to Shell Cottage, a few days since Dobby died for them. Since then he'd been spending most of his time helping out around the cottage with Luna as Harry, Ron, and Hermione were off doing their secret plannings and such. She was a bit – make that _very_ – odd, but she was nice to have around and he was growing rather fond of her.

"You were travelling with a group, weren't you?" Luna asked. "Before you got captured?"

Dean swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. "Yeah. Yeah, I was."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Dean stared at her round, curious eyes and sighed. If he was going to tell anybody he would've told Seamus, but since Seamus wasn't around he might as well tell Luna.

"It was my fault," Dean told her. "I triggered the Taboo and summoned the Snatchers and got them killed."

"You didn't know about the Taboo, did you?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, I didn't, but Dirk tried – "

"You have to forgive yourself," Luna told him as she looked dreamily out the window. "We all do things that we feel bad about. We just have to forgive ourselves eventually."

Dean nodded slowly, although he felt it would take a long, _long_ time for him to forgive himself for that.

"You miss him, don't you?" she asked after a few moments. "Your Irish friend."

"Seamus. Yeah, more than anything," Dean replied. "He's my best friend and I, um…miss him," he finished lamely.

Luna stared at him for a moment, as if she knew what he'd been about to say. He would've said it, too, but he felt that he needed to say those words to Seamus first before he said them to anyone else.

"He misses you too, you know. He kept your letter and he reads it when he thinks nobody's watching," she said.

Dean gave a jolt. He'd completely forgotten that Luna had started the year at Hogwarts before being taken by the Death Eaters in the winter to get her father to stop printing pro-Potter stuff in the Quibbler. He'd completely forgotten that she'd seen Seamus.

"He…he does?" Dean asked eyes wide.

"Oh, yes," she replied with a nod. "We started the D.A. back up, you know. He was very enthusiastic about it. He was next in command after Neville, Ginny, and I. I still have my coin with me, just in case. I hope, if there's a big battle at the end of all this, that we can go back and fight."

"Yeah," Dean said. "Yeah, I hope so too."


	69. Lightning

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**69. Lightning**

Dean sat in his room in Shell Cottage with a sketch pad that Fleur had bought him on his lap. He was drawing, of course, which was just about the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. He felt like he was going to go crazy, cooped up in the cottage.

It was a picture of Seamus. He was standing in dress robes with a diploma in his hands. He was smiling and quivering, his lines as blurry as ever, and the bottom right edge of the diploma was on fire. Dean smiled at the picture; it was what could've been if it hadn't been for the war.

"Dean! Dean! It's time, it's time!" Luna exclaimed happily as she ran into the room.

He looked at her in bewilderment and set his sketchbook down. "Time for what?"

"Look at my coin – Neville just sent a message!" she replied. "Harry, Ron, and Hermione are at Hogwarts."

"Does…does that mean we're going back?" he asked, taking the fake Galleon from Luna's hand and looking at it. The edge of the coin read, _Lightning has struck_.

_Does that mean I get to see Seamus?_ he wondered, staring down at his drawing of Seamus. Soon he'd be able to see the real thing.

Luna smiled as if she knew what he was thinking and nodded.


	70. Reunited

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**70. Reunited**

"Harry!"

"Guys, Neville found Harry!"

"Hermione, you're alright!"

"It's Potter!"

"Ron, I can't believe – "

"Are you guys okay?!"

Seamus joined the crowd that engulfed the trio as they stepped out of the door that led to the Hog's Head. Neville called for them all to step back and Harry asked about the Room of Requirement and what they'd been doing. Seamus grinned, feeling happy and hopeful for the first time in a long time. The happy mood in the room disappeared, though, when Harry started telling them that they couldn't help, and that he, Ron, and Hermione had to do whatever they were doing by themselves.

"Dumbledore left the three of us a job, and we weren't supposed to tell – I mean, he wanted us to do it, just the three of us," Harry said.

"We're his army. Dumbledore's Army," Neville pointed out, several people shouting out their agreement. "We were all in it together, we've been keeping it going while you three have been off on your own – "

"It hasn't exactly been a picnic, mate," Ron piped up.

"I never said it had, but I don't see why you can't trust us," Neville continued. "Everyone in this room's been fighting and they've been driven in here because the Carrows were hunting them down. Everyone in here's proven they're loyal to Dumbledore – loyal to you."

"Look – " Harry started, but just then the tunnel door opened again. A girl with straggly blonde hair and a tall black male came through.

Seamus felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. His mind spun and he felt like he was going to fall over. He blinked several times, not willing to believe his own eyes. Everything else around him disappeared as he focused on the face that he knew better than his own.

_Dean_.

Dean and Luna stood in the doorway. Luna gazed happily out at them all while Dean's eyes were narrowed, scouring the crowd's faces for Seamus'. Seamus let out a roar and ran forward before he could stop himself, flinging his arms around Dean's neck. It'd been nearly a year since they'd seen each other, and Seamus had to resist the tears that burned in his eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of the entire D.A., but he was sure as hell glad to have Dean back.

"Dean, Dean it's – " Seamus started desperately.

"Hush, Shay, listen to Harry," he told him quietly, his eyes shining with happiness as he extracted Seamus' arms from around his neck. He and Seamus shuffled to the side, his hand at the small of Seamus' back.

Harry tried telling them again that they couldn't help, but Seamus wasn't listening. He wasn't even paying attention when Ginny and the twins and Lee came through the tunnel. He just stared up at Dean, giddy beyond belief that Dean was alive and healthy and _here_. He didn't give a damn about anything anymore. He felt like he could take on the Carrows, Snape, and Voldemort combined. Nothing could go wrong now that he had Dean.

"We're fighting, aren't we?" Dean asked as he pulled a Galleon out of his pocket, bringing Seamus back to the real world. "The message said Harry was back, and we were going to fight! I'll have to get a wand, though – "

"Ye haven't got a _wand – _?" Seamus asked, staring in shock at Dean.

"Snatchers," he replied simply, his expression dark.

Seamus blanched as his imagination provided all sorts of horrors that Dean could have faced while he was on the run. He thought about that rather than listening to Harry, who was asking the Ravenclaws about something. Harry then left with Luna and suddenly Seamus was being pulled to the side by Dean. They reached a corner of the room and suddenly a pair of armchairs popped up and they sat in them gratefully.

"Dean, how have ye – "

"Not great, Shay, not great," Dean replied, his expression somber. "But you look even worse than I feel, mate. What's happened to you?"

"Been standin' up to the Carrows," Seamus answered. "The new deputies. They don't much like it when people stand up to them. We've been hidin' out here for the past two weeks since they decided they'd had enough of us causin' trouble."

"Shay," he groaned, "I told you to be safe!"

"Ye would've done the same thing," Seamus told him stubbornly. "They were makin' us torture first years, Dean."

Dean's face twisted in horror.

"'Sides, _ye_ promised ye were goin' to be careful!" Seamus said. "What's this about Snatchers and yer wand bein' gone?"

Dean's face darkened again. "I was travelling with Ted Tonks, Dirk Cresswell, and two goblins when I triggered the Taboo. Ted, Dirk, and one of the goblins were killed. Griphook and I were taken by the Snatchers, and they got Harry, Ron, and Hermione soon after. We were taken to Malfoy Manor, but Dobby rescued us. He died, too, shortly after that."

"No!" Seamus exclaimed. He'd been rather fond of the funny elf.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Luna and I have been at Bill Weasley's house since then, waiting for a sign to come back."

"And ye didn't write to tell me ye were okay?" Seamus asked, his voice sounding hurt.

Dean gripped Seamus' hands. "I couldn't risk it, Shay, you have to – "

"Yeah, I understand," Seamus muttered. "I just – I really missed ye, Dean," he said, his voice breaking slightly.

Dean stood and took Seamus into his arms, hugging him tightly. "I missed you too."

They held each other for several long moments, familiarizing themselves again with the way they fit against each other, the way they smelled, and the way they felt. After a while, they pulled apart and smiled at each other.

"Dean, I have to tell ye somethin'," Seamus said seriously.

"Sure, what is it?" he asked, his eyes dark with worry.

Seamus swallowed. "I found yer dad."

Dean stared at him in shock, obviously not expecting to hear those words come out of his friend's mouth. "You…You _what?!_" he exclaimed.

"I found yer dad," he repeated. "Yer biological dad, I mean. I used the Room of Requirement. Neville helped. I was missin' ye, and I thought that if I could find out if ye were actually a Muggle-born or not, then I could tell ye and ye'd be safe again. But I didn't know how to find ye and I didn't want to write a letter and get ye in trouble, and I didn't know if ye wanted to know."

"But you found him," Dean said slowly, as if testing the words.

Seamus nodded. "I did."

"And…?" Dean prompted, his expression nervous and scared.

"Do ye want to know?" Seamus asked.

Dean thought about it. _Did_ he want to know? Would it make a difference? Would it change anything or even matter? The war was going to end tonight, everybody knew. If they won, blood status wouldn't matter anymore. If they lost, Dean would still be persecuted no matter his blood status because he'd never stop fighting.

"Yeah, I want to know," Dean said.

"Ye're sure?"

Dean nodded and swallowed hard.

Seamus took a breath. "He was a wizard."

Dean inhaled sharply.

"His name was Roger Harris. He was a reporter for the _Prophet_. His parents were Mark and Thalia Harris. They worked for the Ministry. Roger went to Hogwarts. I found him on a plaque in the trophy room. Prefect for Gryffindor."

_Gryffindor_, Dean thought to himself, eyes tearing slightly. _Just like me._

"He left ye and yer mum to protect ye from the Death Eaters," Seamus continued. "He didn't tell her he was magic cause he didn't want to put ye two in danger."

"Why didn't he come back?" Dean asked urgently. "Why didn't he look for me and my mum after Voldemort was killed the first time?"

Seamus shifted his weight uncomfortably. "He didn't come back cause he got killed by Death Eaters a couple months after he left ye and yer mum. Same with yer grandparents."

Dean went cold and his body froze. Seamus gripped his arm.

"I'm sorry, Dean, I shouldn't've told ye," he said.

"No, no, I'm glad you did," Dean replied, shaking his head. "At least I know he didn't just leave us. He was protecting us."

Seamus nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Dean said. "This sounds bad, but…I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change any of it. I love my sisters and my dad. Who knows how different things would've ended up if my biological dad stuck around."

"One thing would be the same," Seamus said.

Dean peered at him. "What?"

"We'd still be best friends."

Dean smiled and nodded, looking away from his friend as he thought about it. Yes, he and Seamus would've ended up best friends no matter what. They'd have gone to Hogwarts and been sorted into Gryffindor and become best friends no matter how the cards were shuffled.

Seamus tugged on his hand. "Dean," he said, drawing his attention. "Dean, I have to tell – "

"The Order's here!" Fred said gleefully, interrupting Seamus.

They let out shouts of joy at the sight of Lupin, their old Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, who was joined by the majority of their first year Gryffindor Quidditch team, Ron's parents, and some others.

Just then Harry and Luna burst into the room.

"Harry, what's happening?" Lupin asked.

"Voldemort's on his way, they're barricading the school – Snape's run for it – " he explained.

"What first, Harry?" George asked. "What's going on?"

"They're evacuating the younger kids and everyone's meeting in the Great Hall to get organized. We're fighting."

The Room of Requirement exploded with tumultuous cheering as everybody began running about in preparation. Dean grabbed Luna as he and Seamus joined the stampede of people that were headed for the Great Hall. Some teachers were directing older students to gather various preparations and others were putting protections around the castle. A few were evacuating the younger students out of the castle. McGonagall, now back in charge, swooped about the castle, bringing the suits of armor and statues to life and barking orders.

There was something almost exciting about preparing for battle. Especially this battle, since they knew it was going to be the last. This was going to make or break the war. They were going to make history tonight.

Then something happened to make the excitement die down and make reality hit hard.

Voldemort's voice echoed through the air, chilling everybody to the bone as he warned them about what they were going to do.

"_Give me Harry Potter…You have until midnight_."

The Great Hall erupted into discussion once Voldemort's voice faded away. Seamus pulled on Dean's arm and his friend look down at him.

"Ye stay with me, ye hear?" he asked, a dead serious expression on his face. "No matter what happens, ye _stay with me._"

Dean nodded grimly. "'Course."

* * *

Sorry this took so long to get out, I had to do a lot of rewriting since I changed some of what I was doing =)

Only a few more chapters! Thanks for sticking with this story and writing me such wonderful reviews, I love you lovely people!

~Ki


	71. Battle

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**71. Battle**

The chaos of battle roared around Dean. Spiders ran through the halls, plants attaacked people, Trelawney was lobbing crystal balls. Dean'd managed to nick a wand off a Death Eater he'd found in the hall and was fighting alongside Parvati – he'd been separated from Seamus a while back, but couldn't afford to dwell on the well-being of his best friend.

He and Parvati blasted away a pair of spiders that had come at them and made their way down the hall to where a Hufflepuff – Susan Bones, they recognized – was fighting two Death Eaters at once. They helped her knock them out, and then they heard something that caused everyone to stop fighting.

It was Voldemort, his high voice echoing through the air as he told them how bravely they were fighting. Then he ordered his forces to retreat and gave them one hour before the fighting began again.

"Come on," Dean said to Parvati as the Death Eaters reluctantly fled the castle. "Let's go to the Great Hall."

"I don't want to," Parvati replied, fear in her eyes. "I don't want to see."

He put an arm around her comfortingly and led her to the Great Hall, where she promptly screamed at the sight of Lavender lying in the line of dead bodies that went down the middle of the Hall. She ran over to her friend's mangled body where she saw her other two dormmates Fay Dunbar and Ginger Dirly lying next to Lavender. She was shortly joined by her sister, who hugged her tightly.

Dean saw the Weasleys and Hermione standing around one body and as he got closer he realized with a sickening jolt that Fred was the body on the ground. George was howling with enough grief to break anyone's heart. Next to Fred he saw Tonks and Lupin, and he felt like he was going to be sick.

He kept walking down the line of the dead, seeing all the familiar faces. He knew he shouldn't be looking, but he couldn't turn away. He had to make sure –

"_Dean!_"

He turned and someone slammed into him, knocking him to the floor. It was Seamus, tears streaming down his face as he sat up in Dean's lap, pulling Dean up with him.

"I…I told ye – I _told_ ye – " Seamus sobbed, pounding his fists on Dean's chest.

Dean gripped Seamus' shoulders, trying to get him to calm down. "I know, I know – I'm sorry."

"I told ye to stay…stay with me…"

Seamus' body sagged, his head falling forward against Dean's chest, and Dean wrapped his arms around him.

"Ye could've – I thought – " he cried, knotting his fingers in Dean's tattered shirt.

"I know," Dean murmured, running his hands soothingly over Seamus' back. "I know."


	72. Love

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**72. Love**

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

"_Expelliarmus!_"

There was a bang and flames shot out of nowhere. Voldemort's wand flew out of his hand as he was sent backwards, hitting the floor with a dead _thud_. Harry caught Voldemort's wand in his hand and there was an intense moment of silence before everybody broke out into cheers. People surged forward to congratulate Harry, but Dean wasn't among them. He searched the crowd for the only person that mattered to him at the moment – _Seamus_.

They'd gotten separated again in the chaos following Neville killing Voldemort's snake and Harry's "dead" body disappearing as everybody rushed into the Great Hall, but Seamus had to be okay.

Didn't he?

Dean stepped over the newly dead bodies of people who'd been killed during Voldemort's rampage. Little Colin Creevey, who must've sneaked back in to fight, was curled in a ball on the floor, his blank, dead eyes staring up at Dean. Dean shivered and bent down, sliding Colin's eyes closed. Then he continued through the Hall and finally found Seamus. He was standing with a crumpled expression, staring at the two bodies at his feet.

Dean realized with horror that they were Padma and Parvati.

He stepped up to Seamus and took his hand, interlacing their fingers, and pulled Seamus away from them and over toward the group of celebrators.

"It's over, Dean," Seamus mumbled. "It's all over…so why do I feel awful?"

"War never ends pretty, Shay," Dean replied. "Not even for the winning side."

Seamus nodded dumbly and Dean led him to a relatively secluded section of the Hall. He stopped walking and faced Seamus, taking both his hands.

"Shay, I have to say it," Dean told him seriously.

Seamus shook his head and grinned. "No, I get to say it."

"Why you?" Dean asked, pouting slightly.

"Because I would've said it first if ye hadn't stopped me a year ago," Seamus replied matter-of-factly.

"How about we say it at the same time?" Dean suggested, letting go of Seamus' hands to stuff his in his back pockets.

Seamus pondered for a moment. "Alright then," he said with a sheepish nod.

They stood there staring nervously at each other and blushing like schoolgirls.

"How about we count down?" Dean said.

Seamus nodded again, his eyes crinkling with fondness as he looked at Dean. "Okay. Three."

Dean smiled softly back at him. "Two."

But they never got to one, because at that moment they leapt at each other, fitting their mouths together messily yet perfectly. Dean's hands gripped Seamus' sides so tightly they were sure to bruise. Seamus tangled his fingers in Dean's hair and shirt. There was a smattering of applause from the people near them and they pulled apart, both blushing wildly.

"I should've told ye this a long time ago," Seamus breathed, staring up at his best friend in the entire world, "but I was scared and stupid. But 'm not scared anymore. Well, I mean, I am, but it doesn't matter anymore cause I know this is right and I don't care – "

"Shay," Dean interrupted with a patient smile. "You're rambling."

Seamus grinned. "Sorry. I…I love ye, Dean."

Dean cupped Seamus' face with his hands, leaned down, and pressed his lips to Seamus'. Seamus put his hands on Dean's hips and Dean wrapped one arm around Seamus' waist, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Dean broke away reluctantly and pulled Seamus into a tight hug.

Dean kissed the top of his head and whispered. "I love you too."


	73. Epilogue

_Before I Knew_

* * *

**73. Epilogue**

_Nineteen Years Later_

"Shay, hurry up, we're going to be late!" Dean called over his shoulder as they strode across the platform.

"Comin'!" Seamus replied. "Just get her through, we'll catch up!"

Dean nodded as he pushed the trolley with one hand, the other clasped around the hand of a tiny eleven year old girl. They approached the barrier between platforms nine and ten and promptly disappeared. Seamus turned and put his hands on his hips, playfully glaring down at the sandy haired girl in front of him.

"C'mon, Birdie, we have to see your sister off!" he said.

Bridget twiddled her thumbs together. "But Da, I don't want her to go."

Seamus kneeled down in front of her and lifted her chin up. "I know, little bird. I don't want her to go, either, but she has to. Wouldn't ye rather say goodbye? Besides, ye'll be joinin' her in two years anyway."

Bridget looked up and nodded.

"Great! C'mon, then, otherwise we'll miss her!" he said, straightening up and taking her hand. Together they set off at a brisk pace and went through the barrier. It wasn't hard to find Dean: his husband's head was the one looming above everybody else's.

"I got Adele's trunk on the train already," Dean told him. "She's quite nervous."

Seamus ruffled the dark brown hair of his older daughter. "What's there to be nervous about, Dela?"

"Everything," Adele mumbled.

"Ye're goin' to have the time of yer life," Seamus told her with a smile. "Right, Dean?"

"Absolutely," Dean said. "Be sure to make lots of friends so they can come 'round for Christmas."

"You mean it, Papa?" she asked happily.

Dean nodded and smiled.

"All aboard! All aboard!" someone called.

"Go on!" they told her.

Adele gave all three of them one last hug before darting onto the train. She appeared in the window of a compartment with two other girls and a scared-looking boy and waved at them as the train began to roll forward.

"Bye Da! Bye Papa! Bye Birdie!" she shouted.

Tears rolled down Bridget's cheeks as they all waved goodbye until the train disappeared from sight. They turned away from the platform and began to make their way to the barrier when Bridget exclaimed, "Lily! Hugo!" and promptly ran off.

They looked to where she was running and saw Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione standing on the platform with their younger children. The four raised their hands in greeting as Dean and Seamus made their way over to them.

"We should have them over for dinner soon," Dean said. "It's been a while."

"Al and Rosie started this year, right?"

"I believe so."

"Oh, and we should invite Neville and Hannah, too, we should. We haven't seen them in a couple months," Seamus said.

"Well, I'm sure Neville's busy teaching, but he could probably find one night off," Dean replied. "I'll write Luna and Rolf, too."

Seamus groaned. "Not Rolf, he bugs me."

"We don't get Luna without Rolf," Dean reminded him.

Seamus glowered and gave in with a sigh. "Alright, fine."

"Did you ever think our lives would turn out this way?" Dean asked as they approached the Potter-Weasley clan.

"What d'ye mean?"

"I mean us. Married with two kids," Dean said with a smile. "Did you think it would work out like this?"

"Well, maybe not _exactly_ like this. I failed Divination, remember?" Seamus joked. "But, did I know it was all goin' to work out?" He smiled and pulled Dean down for a quick kiss. "'Course."

* * *

The End.

First off: **_THANK YOU!_** This has been such a rewarding experience and I am so thankful for all of your encouragement and support. I've loved reading every single one of your wonderful reviews and hearing your response and comments. I was super reluctant in posting this because I didn't want it to end!

Now for some notes, which mostly include headcanons of mine, which you don't have to read if you don't want to =)

_A note on the previous chapter:_  
- Yes, I have a twisted headcanon that Hermione is the only Gryffindor girl of their year to survive the war

_Notes on Adele and Birdie:_  
- Their names are Adele and Bridget "Birdie" Thomas-Finnigan  
- Adele is the same age as Albus and Rose and Birdie is the same age as Lily and Hugo  
- When Dean and Seamus decided they wanted kids, they asked Luna to be their surrogate (she was thrilled and agreed instantly, even though she'd just had the twins a year ago). The first time they tried, it didn't work, and they got really depressed. After a year they decided to try again. Birdie was born nine months later and they couldn't be happier with their brown-eyed, sandy-haired princess. Luna was named godmother  
- Adele came into their lives when Birdie was three years old (Adele was five). Harry came to them about a little girl with no other relatives whose parents had been murdered by a faction of Death Eaters that still existed. Harry knew that they'd been considering trying for another baby, but were scared of the disappointment they'd feel if it didn't work, so he wondered if they'd consider adopting. They accepted, of course, and Adele fit into their family like a missing puzzle piece.  
- Birdie takes more after Seamus, although she has Dean's drawing ability  
- Adele is quiet like Dean, but doesn't draw. Instead, she writes stories  
- They're both sorted into Gryffindor like their dads  
- Seamus is "Da" and Dean is "Papa"

_Notes on Dean and Seamus and family friends:_  
- They maintained close friendships with their friends from Hogwarts, especially Luna and Neville (even though Rolf annoys Seamus)  
- All of their kids are close friends as well. Birdie and Lily are as close as sisters

I have an extensive headcanon NextGen verse, so if you have any questions about how I see things, please ask!

Again, **thank you all so so so much**! I'm considering doing a sequel with moments of them in their years after Hogwarts, so give me ideas of what you'd like to see if I do that!

I love you all! You're wonderful people! Now go forth and spread Deamus to the rest of the world!

~Ki


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